...john [!]

I'd like to meet:

about me

Once upon a time, there was a young Shepard boy named John. Underneath his beautiful and incomparable exterior, lay the family secret.

John suffered from Tourettes Syndrome. He was well known in town for his abusive behavior, yet none of his fellow villagers knew why he was so vengeful towards them.

During the day, John worked on the family farm, plowing the fields and controlling the herd of sheep. During the evening, he was home schooled by his dear mother, Agatha.

One day John was out battling to control his herd, and out of frustration yelled, "tweak my nipples!"

At that very moment, the village glamor, Evelyn walked passed. Evelyn had been infatuated by John's charms, ever since the day she met him as a little girl.

"You...you...you really want me to tweak your nipples, young John?" she stammered whilst drooling simultaneously.

John picked up his rifle and began firing at her. Evelyn ran off in a state of shock and reported his violent attack on her to Agatha. Furious at the public display of her son's actions, Agatha left home immediately.

In the mean time, John, still outraged at his numerous attempts to control the herd, cursed again. "Fuck Maccas...I could make you go mmmmmm!"

Sister Tabitha just so happened to be walking pass to attend Sunday mass at the town church.

"Excuse me, young Johnathon!" she shrieked in a mortified manner. "I suggest you accompany me to church this instant young man, and seek God's forgiveness."

"Forgive this bitch," he said as he started firing his rifle at her.

Sister Tabitha ran off down the road, and bumped into John's mother where she informed her of her son's outburst.

By now John had enclosed all sheep but one, and began shooting at it in hope of getting it with the others.

"Lick my pubes bitch, lick my pubes," he began to yell, when he was quickly stopped by an angry middle aged woman with a missing tooth.

"JOHNATHON!" screamed his mother. "How dare you tell me to lick your pubes you little twerp! Get your ass right over here young man," she said in an authoritative voice.

John lifted up his rifle and was ready to fire at his mother, when she pulled from behind her back, a cup of ice chocolate. This was one of John's major weaknesses, yet nothing had prepared him for what it contained.

Like a reflex action, he dropped the rifle and ran to his mum, snatching from her hand the ice chocolate. Within seconds, he had gulped down the entire drink, as well as the sleeping powder it contained.

See, the villagers congregated one night and decided that the best way to keep themselves from harm was by making John sleep through time, and awaken at a time when his Tourette's could be manifest.

It is now 2007, and John, a.k.a [yay boi] as he is known today, is a star no matter where he goes. Everyone looks forward to spending quality time with him in order to laugh at his remarks and gestures.

Everyone has his number on speed dial and his Myspace profile in their top friends.

If you think you can tolerate this man's sporadic outbursts, press the FRIEND link to the right of this blurb.