Acting. Looking hot. Having a perfect smile. Being so coy the way I flip my hair and put my hand in my pocket while tilting my shoulders just so. Attending AA meetings. Trying to hold Samantha's hand. Being embarrased that my friends snort pretzels out their nose. Getting chased by schoolgirls. Having total existential angst everytime I see that damn "Absolute Hunk" poster! Going over my lines in "Full Moon." Being "Auditor Smith," "Doctor Smith," "Electrician Smith." Did I mention looking totally hot? Working out. Being sober. Being a man-child. Helping Samantha with her bracelet. Being sensitive AND hot AND loyal. Like, I even waited until Sam was done boning Richard Wright.
Hot girls, in case Sam pulls another Richard Wright on me. Can you believe I forgave her? If you think I shouldn't have and you want to be my friend in case she acts up again, definitely add me.
Acting for Dummies Sexual Fantasies for Dummies