...quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide...
They call Los Angeles the "City Of Angels", but I didn't find it to be that exactly...
Let me tell you a little story ? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for ? He was night putting, just putting at night... with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was ? Bob Hope... No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy...
..
...today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration; that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather...
Let's sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don't, because if you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping. You're up here shoplifting. You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite. Fanny by the gaslight...
...there are four interests I have; Football, music, money, and the annihilation of anybody who interferes with that shortlist... I know you couldn't have known my position because you're not so fucking stupid that if you did know, you would turn up here scratching your arse, with that ..what's going on here' look slapped on your Chevy Chase...