About Me
Click Here For Myspace Layouts !
Or Get Myspace Comments
I'm only looking for people that I personally know,or who are looking for MOBSTERS adds,or your band rocks.I'm not here on myspace trying to win any popularity wars. I DON'T GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL! Them twats don't know talent if it actually came up and kicked them in the nuts.So just to break the ice on things,here are some basic rules and thoughts i have,
New Rule:
Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a
reason you don't talk to people for 25 or 30 years. Because you don't
particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the
football team is doing these days-he's mowing my lawn.
New Rule:
Don't eat anything that's served to you out of a window unless
you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was
found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What
did you expect it to contain? Caviar?
New Rule:
Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot,
blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for
these kids: lucky little bastards.
New Rule:
If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards,
you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols.
If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule:
Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care
about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule:
There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle
of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste.
Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored
water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt.
New Rule:
Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a
redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top
is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it,
his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved
the Social Security crisis.
New Rule:
I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from
figuring which way to slide my card, entering my PIN number, finding and
pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash
back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing
me up is standing there eating my candy bar.
New Rule:
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it
doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And
it translates to "chicken with broccoli." The last time you did anything
spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not
spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule:
Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the
seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive
Eating, because watching those celebrities playing poker was just too
damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh no wait! They're
already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule:
I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry
for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule:
If you're going to insist on making movies based on
crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the
Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens.
Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first
place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule:
No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just
for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes, graduations and getting
out of rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy
it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people's version of
looting.
New Rule:
and this one is long overdue:
No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's
supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to
be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule:
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to
know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a
cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rule:
If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job
that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or
tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future
around saying" Do you want fries with that?"
I can resist everything except temptation.
With that aside,I'm a cool guy who likes Motocross,BMX,and music.I'm pretty laid back most the time but i do get restless and have to move around. I like to be outside,hiking fishing,riding,or just disappearing off into the woods for hours on end. If you are a cool person I'll let you know right away. If your not,that usually means you probably pissed me off or annoyed me to the point of wondering whats the best place to hide your decomposing ass so that them CSI peeps cant find you.
Anywho if ya want to chat or email go ahead, But for those people i mentioned in the 1st paragraph that want to try..............I am really good with computers,enjoy your hard drive with all that kiddie porn on it,I'm sure those cops love seeing that on your computers.
Have a nice day
