18206737

I spent the last 4 1/2 years in Costa Rica, anyone who has been here knows that that alone speaks for its self. Life experience was amazing, fun, gorgeous, painful, heart warming and breaking. Ive been lucky to be here but for me its a sad-joy to live here anymore. Its time to pick up all the pieces this time and really move on. I tried a year in San Diego, in my opinion a waste of time and money as well as a lonely experience. I try and find someone real but everywhere i go im surrounded my fake smiles and superficial personalities. i was lucky to find a few friends but living in this place made me realize one thing...im alone and always will be. No matter what friends i make or relationships i have...things are always bound the change. Now i am moving away from SD and going to Pasadena. Im not hoping to find happiness or feel a sense of home there but i feel there is no where to go and i might as well be here to study for a while until i find what it is im looking for. Im not trying to be the sad sort of girl, those of you who think you know me, know nothing at all. Like i dont know your secrets you dont know mine. I cannot say im happy even tho he has always said be happy and independent... the independent part comes much easier. Happiness is a privelege that only a few are granted. I dont need the fancy clothes cars or makeup to be happy, although its always put a temporary smile on my face. All i want is a simple life because glamor gets you no where. That aside, Im not sure i want to find happiness, im afraid that when or if i do find it heart break will happen all over again and ill be torn open from the inside. The first heart break numbs your emotions im afraid a second will make me so i never feel again. Then what? Now what?PI »-(¯..v..¯)-» Design your MySpace with MyLook «-(¯..v..¯)-«