About Me
We started off as an octet, playing every London County Fair since 1996, but then tragedy struck. They stopped selling our fuel. The prices went up like crazy at all the Fuel Depots that were damn hard to get to, as it was. We played without our fuel, but the audiences started to notice, and so we had to lay off Tractimus, simply because the cost of his vital fuel plus his amazing consumption of sunshine seeds was overwhelming to our budget. He never played in the band, but he was in it. Touche.In the summer of 1997, it was fucking hot.In the summer of 1998, we found out troubling news. Wearing bright colored fanny packs, crouched around his secondhand mattress, our trombone section, Kevin, told us he had contracted a terrible strain of Grape. He had one week to live. We immediately called Patch Adams, who helped us bathe Kevin in spaghetti, just like he wanted to ever since he saw his mother cooking in the kitchen when he was a little girl.Come 1999, everyone was panicking to the high heavens because of the threat of a Y2K virus infecting all of our rectums. We couldn't spare a moment, and so had to live in a cave. In this cave, two of our members, Goliath and Jesse Magic, discovered the meaning of life. Unfortunately, these messages came up as burps of indigestion after the three of us now in the band ate the poor souls.Our fourth member never had a name. He played bass. We called him ..4.When we got out of the cave, ..4 suggested that we trek across the desert, wearing nothing but our birthday suits. Danny favored the idea, but only if he got to put a sweet tattoo on his abdomen as we did it. We fought over the idea, but then settled that it was best to go trekking across the desert. Halfway across the desert, we realized that ..4 was a douche bag, and we kicked him out of the band. We never saw him again.We wandered through that desert for God knows how long. But one day..."I am a prophet", said that voice."Who are you" we yelled."I am the prophet Eric Wanyna.""What news do you have for us, good prophet", said I."You are meant to be as you are." The prophet began to strip.We realized he was right, but at that point, he had disappeared into the body of a lizard. We were so astounded at how right he was, we did nothing until 2005. It was then we decided to be punk rockers and we started playing our instruments together.Shot not narfling the garthog.
