The ex Anton* - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hey kiddies, Once upon a time I was the fakester Anton LaVey here on MySpace. Yeah, a loooong time ago I would get on here and leave everyone comments as if LaVey were doing the typing... Until, sometime in early 2004 a few humorless party-poopers got me kicked off of MS because they felt I was making a mockery of Doktor LaVey. I think if you knew anything about the guy you'd probably know better, but I guess not.
So anyway, this all started on Friendster, and after being kicked off of that place about a million times and constantly reincarnating myself, losing friends over and over again... Once I migrated over here and it happened, that was it... I'd had it! When I created a new profile I decided to do things just a little bit differently. Hence, "The Ex" Anton. Neener neener! So I'm kind of myself/kinda not. You can still find me on Friendster as LaVey, but who goes THERE anymore? By the way, I have no idea why F'ster has let me survive so long this time around. (11/06 UPDATE: Is that lame site even around anymore?) They must've deleted LaVey at least 50 times back in the olden days. I guess Abrams finally gave up on killing the fakesters? A little bit late! You blew it, man! Ha! Ha!!! Hail MySpace! ;P
Okay, needless to say I'm a big fan of Doktor LaVey's philosophy. I'm not a card carrying member of the COS because I believe the organization died with him and it just ain't what it used to be! (Anton always said there was no need for any sort of goth-kid social-club, so why do you kids keep trying to turn it into that?) Whatever... You should all read his books if you haven't already! It's the only "self-help" you'll ever need.
So you want to know about me... Everyone looooooves me! (It's because I'm wonderful.) Strange thing too, since I consider myself a bit of a misanthrope. But then again, I generally like the majority of people I meet. Maybe I've just been lucky. (Cough cough!) Or maybe it's just all the alcohol clouding my judgement.
I'm full of frustration, disappointment and anger. But I'm a relatively nice guy. (Well, at least I think so. I think most of my friends would probably agree. THEY BETTER!) If you're good to me, I'll bend over backwards for you. (Watch... Okay, here goes. OOOOooouchhh!) My idea of a good time is laughing at people. Some people in my family don't think that's funny. (Hey, we are who we are, right?) I prefer to do this, and most other things, after a few drinks. It makes everything even funnier, doesn't it?
I'm an artsy snob, sort of... I don't really know about the whole "art" thing anymore. Most of it is just more unnecessary junk taking up space in the world. But what do I know... Oh wait, I'm not supposed to say that, am I? How would I ever make a living if people actually read that and took it seriously? Anyway, thanks to art school I'm now one of the most critical assholes in the world. Oh well. If you're thinking about going to art school, (Take the other pill.) I say save your money and become a lawyer instead. I take it back, don't do that... F those scumbags! (Except my lawyer, of course.) Be a doctor, yeah that's it!
So, I'm a skeptic and a realist. An ex-girlfriend once called me a self-deprecating megalomaniac. Hmmm... I watch Comedy Central a lot. I also watch way too much CNN. I really should stop watching the news because it makes me crazy. I just can't help it though, I think the world is a very exciting, but frustrating place... If anyone knows the way out (which doesn't include dying) please message me.
I've never had a cavity. When I was a little kid, I accidentally kicked out my Grandfather's two front teeth. I have really nice (Ask my friends.) dreadlocks, lately I'm told that I look like a pirate. Yay! I'm consistently late for everything, so don't take it personally if we ever hang out...
I collect anything that is Devil or Maila "Vampira" Nurmi related, as well as funeral and mortuary items. I think the majority of Disney films are very disturbing and should not be seen by young children. (Some of you think I'm joking when it comes to this, I'm very serious.)
I wear mismatched socks a lot of the time. After looking through my book collection, a friend of mine told me that I had "very deviant interests". I have a cat that I love dearly even though I'm not really a "cat person". When animals attack, I always root for the animal. (Duh!)
I think the world would be a much better place without religion, but you've figured that out by now, I'm sure. I have about 20 nicknames. I was/am Bucky O'Hare... OBG!
For a long time, I thought I was dying from a brain tumor, but it turns out I'm not after all. I'm fine now, sort of... Hey, at least I got to join the spinal tap-club and now I have lots of cool photos of my brain, right? Now I make a point to do a lot of drugs. Hey, you only live once! Fun! The other day I fell off a barstool. Oops.
My place is supposedly haunted, but I have yet to see anything. I hear strange things sometimes, but I think it's just the plumbing. Something might have touched me a few weeks ago but I think I was dreaming.
And last but certainly not least, let it be known that I have the softest skin ever. (Why do you think Mom calls me "Silky"?) What's my secret? I have no idea. But you're welcome to touch. (Girls only)
*AVAILABLE FOR: Parties, Anniversaries, Corporate Functions, Funerals, Weddings, etc...
You Are Absinthe
You are a sloppy drunk, purposely so.
If drinking doesn't make you feel crazy, it's not any fun.
Truth be told, you tend to prefer drugs to drinking.
But you'd never pass up any absinthe that came your way! What Alcoholic Drink Are You?
You Are Barney
You could have been an intellectual leader...
Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer
You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps
Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem." The Simpsons Personality Test

My Interests

Money, My friends, Leisure, Working out (my liver), Instant gratification, Progress, Decadence, The Here and Now, I do what I want wha eva wha eva, This ship (My body AND the world. Same thing.) is going down lets party, All or nothing, What you see is what you get, Now or never, Form follows function, Less is more, Truth is stranger than fiction, Life is meaningless, Everything DOES NOT happen for a reason!!! (Shit happens and you make the best of it.), If you argue correctly you're never wrong, You can never go TOO far, No one ever said it was gonna be easy, If we can't laugh at each other who can we laugh at?, Better safe than sorry, You ARE what you DO (I don't mean your occupation, dumBy.), Who cares!, People are just no damn good, This is WAR!, Doing the least I can possibly do while still moving forward, Objectivism, Lex Talionis, Variety, Sarcasm, Winning, Good ideas, Promoting natural selection, The truth, Respect, Honesty, Music, Writing, Painting, Drawing, Doing stuff and calling it "art", Advertising, Slang, Stupid catch phrases, Dumb marketing slogans, Sleeping late, Drinking way too much coffee throughout the day, Taking hot showers on cold days, Taking cold showers on hot days, "Acting" like a pretentious snob, Powell's Books in Portland, Grossing out Melissa in any way that I can, Updating this profile stuff knowing that Lilith Dark will get a good laugh from it, Making others think that I know what I'm talking about, Trying to be a recluse, Playing the drums and bass, Speaking with a really exaggerated Sean Connery voice, Talking to Greg in the Edward G. Robinson/Ronald Reagan/OJ/terrorist voice, Communicating with friends just by quoting soundbites from the Howard Stern Show, Chewing gum all day long until I've given myself a really bad headache, Tinkering with the DR660, Waving my hands in front of my Theremin, Uncontrollable laughing fits, Mystery bruises, Green (The color, not the plant. But that's okay sometimes too.), Staying in bed all day long, Striped clothing, Pirates, Newcastle, Captain Morgan, Boddingtons, Blackthorn Cider, Irish car bombs, Royal peaches, Vicodin, Vitaminwater, Serial killers, Horror films, Twilight Zone marathons, Road trips, Iced tea, Boba, Mint chocolate chip ice cream, BevMo, Anton LaVey (Duh.),Howard Stern, Andy Warhol, Dennis Hopper, Kenneth Anger, Cecil E. Nixon, Henry Darger, Ayn Rand, Joseph Campbell, Charles Baudelaire, Mark Twain, Cheech and Chong, Benny Hill, The Black Dahlia, The Zodiac Killer, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Andy Kaufman, Vincent Price, Hieronymous Bosch, R. Crumb, Salvador Dali, Joel Peter Witkin, Felicien Rops, Francis Bacon, Hans Bellmer, Clovis Trouille, John Willie, Jeff Koons, Mark Kostabi, Bruce Conner, Eric Stanton, Coop, Boyd Rice, Rozz Williams, Gunther von Hagens, Marcel Duchamp, Bela Lugosi, Leon Theremin, Maila "Vampira" Nurmi, Winona Ryder, Paris Hilton, Crime scene photos, Stainless steel, Anything clear or transparent, Quality products, Halloween, Victorian houses, Abandoned buildings, Haunted houses, Los Angeles, Long Beach, San Francisco, Portland, The John and Ken Show, KXLU, Frosty Heidi and Frank, Survival Research Laboratories, The Three Stooges, The Hell Fire Club, The Disneyland Haunted Mansion, Thrift stores, Antiques, Old used bookstores, Wearing holey t-shirts, Skateboarding, Rollercoasters, Robotics, Cemetaries, Museums, Time travel, The future, Friday April 13th 2029, Pranks, Jokes, Poking fun at everything, Deflating those in need of it, Being a troublemaker and fuckin' with peoples heads... (in a good way)

I'd like to meet:

People who will buy me drinks and make me laugh. No, really. Buy me fuckin' drinks!

Music:

CRASH WORSHIP, Sheep On Drugs (Lee and Duncan), Meat Beat Manifesto, The Damned, DEVO, The Velvet Underground, The Beatles, Donovan, Skinny Puppy, Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Christian Death (Rozz), The Doors, Alien Sex Fiend, Psychic TV, Boyd Rice, Soft Cell, CRASS, The Residents, The Misfits (Danzig), Babyland, Einsturzende Neubaten, Rudimentary Peni, Warlock Pinchers, Ethyl Meatplow, Subhumans, Vampire Rodents, Adam Ant, Siouxsie And The Banshees, The Smiths, LARD, Dead Kennedys, Ministry, Slug, The Normal's "Warm Leatherette", FUGAZI's first two EP's... punk, new wave, death rock, industrial, 80's, early techno (when it was really cheezy), oldies, muzak, EVP recordings, white noise, the sound of one hand clapping, the Cookie Monster's "Me lost me cookie at the disco" song (If anyone has this, I beg you to give it to me. I promise to give it a very good home.), "Samson gets me lifted" by Sir Smoka Lot, things that go bump in the night, Anton LaVey, and a lot of other good stuff... I have excellent taste in pretty much everything, so no worries.

Movies:

Up In Smoke, Blade Runner, Top Secret, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Airplane!, Scary Movie 2, Batman Begins, Seven, The Road Warrior, Half Baked, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Pecker, 12 Monkeys, American Psycho, Beetlejuice, Alien, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Suburbia(Penelope Spheeris' 1984 film, NOT that other piece of crap with the same name!), Repo Man, Goodfellas, Blue Velvet, Dead Alive, Fight Club, An American Werewolf in London, Rosemary's Baby, True Romance, THX1138, Logan's Run, Twin Falls Idaho, Night Of The Living Dead, Scream, Hellraiser, Shaun Of The Dead, Grizzly Man, Lars and the Real Girl, Stanley Kubrick, Alfred Hitchcock, David Cronenberg, John Waters, George A. Romero, Mel Brooks, Russ Meyer, Ed Wood and Hammer films...

Television:

JEOPARDY!, The Twilight Zone, California's Gold (There ya go, Joni.), Hell's Kitchen, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Rock of Love, LA Ink (Well, up until Pixie got the boot.), The Bad Girls Club (First season only), Dogfights, Antiques Roadshow (You like it too, don't lie to me!), Dirty Jobs, The Soup, X-Play, Campus Ladies, The Simple Life, South Park, Six Feet Under, The Simpsons, Chappelle's Show, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, The Kids in the Hall, The Munsters, Roseanne, Beverly Hills 90210 (Duh!), Freaks and Geeks, Unsolved Mysteries, Fear Factor, MAD TV, Deadwood, Da Ali G Show, and pretty much everything on Discovery Health and the History Channel...

Books:

Anton LaVey, John Gilmore, Daniel Mannix, Christopher Hitchens, Ray Bradbury, H.G. Wells, Kenneth Anger, Robert Graysmith, Andy Warhol, Philip K. Dick, Timothy Leary, Ayn Rand, Whitley Strieber, RE/Search and Feral House publications, Ben Is Dead, SKIN TWO, Marquis, BIZARRE (U.K.), Juxtapoz, Skin and Ink, the Savage Love column, The American Hertitage dictionary, X-rated comic books, etc...

Heroes:

My Blog

28

A few weeks ago my friend Chris called me and asked if I wanted to go to the Apple store with him. I asked him if we were gonna go to the one in Santa Monica. He told me there was one in Manhattan Bea...
Posted by The ex Anton* on Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:52:00 PST

27

Noooo! This is not a blog about how I don't remember too much after the shot of Jameson and then woke up Saturday morning covered in mustard!I've said it before and I'll say it again, Crash Worship r...
Posted by The ex Anton* on Wed, 14 May 2008 12:50:00 PST

26

Yes, I called her Thursday night.But since she's in South Africa for the next few weeks, I got her voicemail!!! Dammit! To be continued......
Posted by The ex Anton* on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 05:20:00 PST

25

This will be lots of fun. You really should try to make it....
Posted by The ex Anton* on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:26:00 PST

24

Wow! I didn't realize that it had been almost a year since I'd written anything around here. Time sure flies when you're, uhh, err... Uh yeah, time sure flies. I've been meaning to write about a ...
Posted by The ex Anton* on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:27:00 PST

23

So, this past Thanksgiving I went to Kansas City, MO to visit the old roommates. This is the second time I've gone. I don't think any of Melissa's other "friends" have gone... (What a great guy I a...
Posted by The ex Anton* on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 01:09:00 PST

22

So like I said, I've been home for a few weeks now... The night before I left for Baltimore I worked late, I figured what the Hell, I'm gonna be gone for about a week and the boss loves when I stay a...
Posted by The ex Anton* on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 03:49:00 PST

21

Yo! So I've been home from Baltimore for a few weeks now, but before that I went to Kansas City to visit my good friends Melissa, Justin and Jennifer. I took a lot of pictures but I've been so busy w...
Posted by The ex Anton* on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 03:25:00 PST

20

The Black Dahlia Unfortunately, I didn't know until the ending that this movie was based on James Ellroy's Black Dahlia book... Had I known that before I went to see it last night, I could've saved ...
Posted by The ex Anton* on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 05:20:00 PST

19

Hello Friends, So after years of pestering Melissa (the ex roommate) for that list of questions I mentioned a few blogs back, I finally got 'em! (I think it's a reward for my visiting in a few weeks....
Posted by The ex Anton* on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 10:50:00 PST