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how I am always smiling and trying to be positive in front of my kids,family and friends.I do my duties as a mom,Hokage,friend and I always try to be there for people as a light in their darkeness,but behind the scenes I am in tormoil with emotions and doubts.I am not as fearless as some people think I am,I am actually a very sensitive person and I drink at times trying to numb myself from lifes harshness,so I am not so different from anyone,except maybe I hide it a little better.Sometimes I just want to scream (and burn things) and spin myself around in circles to feel life stop just for a moment and accept that I am real.This life will not end peacefully but you have to break through it to really experience this mess(known as life).There is so much to go through and so many lessons to be learned but you can't always be this nice,loving,smiling puppet for everyone.Sometimes you just have to be yourself even if that means being a douchbag or telling someone to piss off ey'.However a happy medium should always be something to strive for,because like me..I have people to take care of,people who depend on me and I cant run away,I have to be Mrs.Smiley pants to make their life a little bit easier so for the time being I can carry them and not faulter in my responsibility.....without ever forgetting who I am and trying to be better under my mask.In the beginning when i wake and end when I go to sleep I will try to be good,no matter what...it's the best choice through all the drama,chaos and turmoil,hearing the words "that I would be good" helps me and nobody describes it better than this song by Alanis Morrisette-That I would Be GoodI hope someone in this crazy world can benefit from my wacky knowledge and insatiable appetite for a good eccentric rants.I am not just a mom,a freind,a sister,a daughter...I am a person with emotion,objectives,dreams,goals and a future.Finding out who you are is the only way to unlock reality,to see what you have to offer and what you simply cannot take.Everyday is a test of our will and determination to live.Your character and moral is constantly challenged so I just turn on my "let me have all you got" shades and go at it head on cause life waits for noone my friend.