I'd like to meet:

If you read about MERLIN (next section after this one), my beloved cat, then you will know that I have lost a very precious thing in my life on the 31st of May 2007. He will never be "replaced" cause he was SO special!!!! But nevertheless I had to look for something which would be able to heal the pain at least a wee bit. And so I came across these two brothers. Gizmo and Monty. And they won my heart immediately. Just look at the picture! And today - 8th of August 2007 - they moved in. And: no stress, no shyness - they are adorable!!!!! Thanks to the holder Jenny and the Mum of the babies. Jeannie. A very special thank you to cat Jeannie. Who recently went through some trouble with health due to some complications after giving birth. But she is well and happy again now. This is Jeannie:

And here are the adorable two:

Monty is the blue one, Gizmo the chocolate honey (almost black).
I will keep you updated with what's happening. An exciting time ahead!!!! Growing and learning. Playing and purring.
update pic september 4th, 07: my two boys - 16 weeks now

My lady cat - (see section "Daisy", 9 yrs) - seems very relaxed about it all. No bad arguments so far... But - "Beware of the cat!" You never know! But I think I made clear to her, that she still is "the boss". And she is a real sweety. And has been very quiet and sad over the past 2 months. Missed something I am sure. She joined us as a baby and always was with Merlin. Out of the blue she was on her own. Well, hope she and the "boyz" will be a cool team soon!
Gizmo & Monty-Jagger 2008

The "Cat Pack" waiting for food ;-)
>
Will keep you updated......... BUT: better check my "blog" for news, please. Thank you.

* March 1996 + 31st of May 2007
Merlin came to my house when I had lost a cat (Bijou) and the other one (Frenchie) obviously was suffering. I wanted to go to the animals assylum but an old friend of mine said that his mum had new born kittens for free. I have had only female cats up to then and I said to my friend Peter "I only go and have a look if there's a tomcat. Want a male in the house for a change". And he went: "Have a look, there is ONE tomcat."
When I arrived at the house Peter's Mum showed me a bunch of cuties but you couldn't tell which was which etc. And out of the blue - imagine: at least 6 kittens like a big ball - and out of this ball there was approching me a wee grey/white bundle. the only cat that took notice of me. it looked at me, head up high, walking up to me, going " meowwwwwwwwwww" and as I went down on my knees it put its paw on my leg, jumped onto me and rubbed its faced against mine.
My friend Peter couldn't any words apart from: ".... ehm... THAT's the TOMCAT!" - So the deal was made!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And here he is, my adorable lovable tomcat Merlin:
(TO PAUSE SLIDESHOW MOVE MOUSE ONTO PHOTO! remove mouse to go on)
But.... the "love of my life" - Merlin - is facing a sad fate. .......Beginning of April 2007 he out of the blue was sneezing blood all over my bed cover. I immediately took him to the vet and they treated him with some antibiotica, hoping it would be an infection. But I know my cat! From all the cats I ever had Merlin is the one who is so close to me that he's more like a dog than a cat. We "know" each others thoughts and there is a quiet understanding between us. I never had such a close and deep relationship with a cat in my life (and I had 6 incl. the 2 ones now). Anyhow. The other diagnosis was a possible and if so inoperable tumor.
A week later I went to the famous berlin pets hospital (which is on tv aswell). And after the examination, after x-raying and talking to the proffessor and the surgery there was no hope: a tumor in his nose, working its way along the eye and up to the forehead. It had attacked the forehead bone already and there is no way at all to help him.(...in one or two of the picture you will be able to tell that one eye has become smaller than the other one. That's where the tumor is)... The proffessor told me to just go home, enjoy the time being and trying to forget about it. - How could I? - This broke my heart and from all the cats I ever had Merlin is the one who I is like my second baby (apart from my daughter), my buddy, my soulmate. I asked the doc if there is something I could do to make it easier for Merlin, but there is NOTHING I could do for him. At least he is not in pain. He is eating like never before, purring, playing, the same loving dear little thing than before and as long as there doesn't seem to be any pain I am trying to enjoy the time with him. My only hope is that he won't be ending up struggeling for breath and dying cruely in front of me. My hope is that the tumor will reach his brain and one day just kills him from one second to another. Of course this wouldn't leave me any time to say good bye, but on the other hand my good byes are taking place each and every day I am spending with him.
As if he is feeling something like this, our relationship has even become deeper as before and I never thought this would be possible as it was so very close before anyway. I can hardly make a step without Merlin. He is with me whatever I do. And before my scottish fiancé died in April 2004, the cats weren't allowed into the bedroom of course. But now that I am on my own again (and still love my man and don't want no other!), Merlin (and so is Daisy) is allowed to sleep in my bed. Merlin would never sleep in my bed and sleep far away from me (like Daisy does. She's fine and happy with any place there). But he needs to be in touch with my body. And if he hasn't got at least one of my hands which he can touch with his paw he won't get into a sleeping position. Non-cat-lovers will go "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, nasty", but all others will go " how sweet". And that's what it is. And it makes me happy. And sad on the same hand. Because it seems that he can feel it and wants to enjoy every single second he can be close to me. And of course I let him and hope that "the" day won't come too soon.....
updateThe lump above his right eye got bigger and bigger but we managed this quite reasonable. Still no pain. But then came the day when I realized that his breathing went bad. So I had to face the fact that the cancer had infected the lung. No hope then. So that day I got drunk with wine and beer and informed the vet. I am no drug kind of person but that afternoon I needed something.
Next day (31st of May 2007)the vet arrived and the most horrible thing was that I had to wait for her! So Merlin and I spent about 3 hours cuddled up close together at the window. It was as if he was waiting for something. Looking outside the window and not leaving the place. When the vet arrived Merlin immediately rolled himself onto his back and started purring. My heart was breaking.................
15 minutes later the most unique cat I ever met in my life had died in my arms. His head in my hand. The way we were when he was alive.
I miss him terribly.
(8th of August 2007)

Daisy is a "special one"... ;-) When Merlin"s "Mum" (an ordinary striped stray cat from the street - which I had saved as a baby cat from dying - which had adopted him when he was little and came to our house) died, I was thinking about getting another cat. Cause Merlin seemed to be quite "lost" and lonely and grieving at that time.
One day we went to a fellow's home for a visit and he happened to have some new born kittens. A mixture of a real huge persian mum and a real mega huge norwegian tomcat. The kittens were playing in a certain room, the guy in question was on the phone and me was having a look around the flat.
I was having a look into the room where the kittens (about 7 of them) where playing - and there was ONE which had string around her neck and was about to jump from the very high bed. I immediately realized that the bed was higher than the string around the cat's neck would be able to cope with. So: the cat was about to strangle itself to death! - The next thing I remember was me jumping like a stunt guy onto the bed, grabbing the kitten and deciding: this one's gonna go home with ME!!!!!
Well, the owner was not too pleased but I could convince him that if he has kittens around he should make his appartment save. And it wasn't. And obviously this certain kitten was too stupid to protect herself. (which she is still today, by the way)
Anyhow - in real life this cat would not have survived. Her instincts are too low. But she is a real beauty with her three colours and she is a real sweety. Whenever I compare her to my intelligent super cat Merlin she of course loses the battle ........ ;-) ..... LOL .... But she is SO sweet and lovable, so tender and doing her best. I am happy that I have saved her.
(TO PAUSE SLIDESHOW MOVE MOUSE ONTO PHOTO! remove mouse to go on)

And this myspace-site also is a memorial place for all those unique and lovely cats I had and which I never will forget. May they rest in peace......
..and before you go on reading, here is a poem written and read by the wonderful actor James "Jimmy" Stewart. It is called "A dog named Beau". It starts quite entertaining and funny, but wait til it gets to the end. It is SOOO touching!!!!!!

This one is dedicated to all the dear furry cuties "you and I" have lost or may lose one day:

James Stewart Poem

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And to those of you who love the dark side of humour, here is - as I love the actor Hugh Laurie - "A bit of Frey & Laurie" for you in this matter.....

MUTZI
- with this cat my love for those individuals started and I will never ever forget her. She was just a little stray cat. The usual kind. But - I was about 9 yrs and this was my first experience with an animal which needes help!
I was on holidays in Austria with my parents. This cat was one of those poor things which were being treated like just "nothing". I saved it from being put into the water and killed. I locked the cat up in the stable nearby and shared my food with it. It was a real "crime story". The son of the farmer was after it, but I could manage to make it survive. After two weeks I wasn't able to hide it any longer and speaking to my Mum I made it that she got sort of an arrangement with the farmer. While I was there on holiday "Mutzi" was allowed to even come upstairs to my bedroom and spend time with me there. I was in cat-heaven! And so as she: Mutzi. We loved each other!!!!
I couldn't take her with me. But kept on sending letters to the farmer. Who ensured me that she was alright. A year later we went there on hols again. My God - my "Mutzi"!!!! Could not wait to see her again!!!! My heart (10 yrs meanwhile) was jumping and I was running up the hill to the cottage of the farmer! - .....................you might have guessed it.... They had shot her. It was the son of the farmer, just about 15 yrs, who shot "my cat". Cause she had grown up and was ready to receive kittens..... - That was the day when my childhood ended, I guess... And I will never forget the day. (somewhere I must have a photo of her. Will upload it to here some time later....)

MING

...adorable tomcat! My parents never wanted pets at home. But I remember me being ill and staying at home. And there was this grey ugly cat. Which kept strolling around our door. And cheating my mum I asked for some saussages etc. and fed the cat in front of our bathroom window which was directed to the backyard of our flat. The cat kept coming back and back and one day my Mum was watching me feeding it (it had turned from grey into black and white meanwhile due to the good food) and - it JUMPED - while totally ignoring my Mum - into our bathroom window. And?!?!?!? Stayed!!!!!!!!!!! Became boss of the house!!!!!!!!!! And they all loved Ming!!!!!!!!!! (I had found the name for the cat cause at that time was reading a book about a tomcat called Ming which looked exactly like our new house mate.)
I still remember the day when Ming conquered us. It was the day after Elvis died. The 17th of August 1977.
Years later at Christmas Ming didn't come back home (cause we didn't want to change him. He went and came, daily, on a regular basis, but own free will.... that's what we loved about him and we would not have been able to change him even if we had wanted to. It would have made him unhappy. You could not keep Ming inside!!!). We put "Wanted"-posters up on the trees, etc. And a day after Christmas we got a call. Two Doberman dogs had grabbed and bitten him to death...... My brother went out with plastic gloves and searched all the bins around our area... But couldn't find Ming......
But this beautiful strong free tender and unique tomcat will always have a special place in our hearts! Never forgotten!!!!!!

WINNIE

I had just moved into my first own flat with one room and a balcony, when I happened to stumble over this cat. It was waiting for me when I got back home and obviously wanted to be with me. I nailed some "who's cat is this" onto trees etc. and fed and caressed it. I found out that it was a young girl who lived in a basement flat but wasn't willing to leave the windows open to allow her cat to return back home. Until today I wonder why in hell she even had the idea to have a cat. She obviously was not willing to cooperate with a cat..... Well, the cat was given back to her. I went on a 3 weeks holiday. When I was returning home the housekeeper informed me that the cat had been sitting in front of my door every single day. - Hm,, I phoned the young girl (well, I was young, too. 21 I guess....) and asked her if she wanted her cat back. She wasn't too sure. So I offered her to keep the cat. Which she didn't want. Then she turned up with her boyfriend and a weird small wooden case in which she wanted to lock up the cat. A wild hunt around my flat started. And her boyfriend asked her: "What the hell have you done to this cat?!?!? It's obvious that it does not want to go back to you!" - And so she left the cat with me....
Me and "Winnie" lived quite happily for a while. She obviously felt qite comfortable with me. But I lived on the 2nd floor and more and more often her wilderness seemed to break through. It was very clear that she needed to stroll around. More and more moments of fear I was facing when she was about to jump from my balcony on the 2nd floor. And you can love a wild creature "to death", but if you really love it you can't (and won't) hold it back from what it really needs: freedom!!!!!!
And so I asked my brother, who lived in a basement flat and loved cats, to take "Winnie". And there she found her "real love" (like "Merlin" and me now!!!) - my brother and "Winnie" were a couple like Bogart & Bacall, Grace Kelly and Rainer, or like Agassie & Graf.
A few years things were fine. But then there was this tumor and my brother was so shocked and shattered. And then came the day when he had to decide to put his baby to sleep.... It was a horrible day. We all will never forget it.... R.I.P., sweety Winnie..... xxxxxxxxxxxx

BIJOU

Well, when I had given my "Winnie" to my brother I thought "I can't live without cats actually. What about one from the pets home? And a tomcat this time?" .. I already had a name. My tomcat should have been called BIJAN. In the midst of all this thinking I got a call from my neighbour. He had found a very poor individuum in the middle of the street of a highway here in Berlin. Doctors said, a few hours longer without help and it would have died. - Sure, I didn't know what was coming up or what I was going to expect. "Sure, I'll have it." - And so a few hours later I go this extremely poor and flat thing which looked more like a falt postal stamp - as thin as it was - grey, dirty, thin, skinny, not looking at anybody..... Put into an open cage, place in a quiet corner.... It toks weeks to get her attention, to make her leave her hideaway.
But one day she made it.... And step by step she came back into live. Not only physically but also mentally. And it took another 2 yrs to turn her into this unbelievably trustfull and tender cat which then she was in the end. You could pull her around your neck (well, MINE!), she trusted in everything you (ME! ) did. We were almost as close as Merlin and I are today.
And then.. there was this night... This morning.. When I woke up... And saw her lying in the living room in front of the door to the hallway. AS if she was just about to enter the hallway and open up the door to go to the kitchen for food or to the bathroom for the catloo. And I tenderly whispered her name... No reaction. Shock! Because if she was sleeping she would have reacted to me. I think at that time I already knew that my lovely one was gone. But I didn't want to accept it. So I tried to shout out louder. But no reaction. Then I got up and my body was over hers. I could feel the terrible cold. And that was the moment when I started sreaming!!!!! But I kept holding her cold body for ages! Cressing her!!!!! ......- Couldn't go to work. And later vets couldn't find out what had been wrong with her. And we put her into a very quiet place in the woods in Berlin-Zehlendorf.

FRENCHIE

This cat came to us as a helpless baby. It was less than a handfull. IT was an ordinary striped stray cat. And in the beginning we didn't think that it would be ok for a cat to keep it in the house. But as the months got by it became more and more the cat of my baby daugther. Together they explored things which MUms don't like.....
Anyhow.... Frenchie grew up, and she had to cope with Bijous death at some point. But she somehow seemed to get kind of depressive. And then we brought home this cutie baby tomcat "Merlin". - You won't believe what happend!!! Frenchie turned from a rather wild cat into a tender loving mum!!! She obviously fell in love with little rascal Merlin immediately. ---- She kept watching me when I was teaching Merlin something. She was there with a look in her eye which said "I'M gonna do it!!!!"... and I let her... And it went perfectly fine. Wee Merlin learnt to behave but to be a real cat, too, from Frenchie!!!! And she turned from a caterpillar into a beautiful tender butterfly !!!!! - the two cats loved each other. And just, when Frenchie was enjoying the best days of her life - she got seriously ill.
3 times a week I went with her to the vet and had let her have punctions. Because she had too much water in her body and couldn't breathe. Nobody could tell what it was causing it. I did it for 3 months and spent about 1000 EU, but they couldn't help her. When finally there was the moment when she was nearly dying on my terrace I called the emergency and went to the famous vet hospital in Berlin. They, too, didn't have any clue. Frenchie went straight into the surgery. - And never came back..........
And that was the point when we got "DAISY" for little "MERLIN", because he had lost his "Mum" and was quite disorientated. And so MERLIN changed his role from a "baby" into the protectiv guy....... And now it looks as if we gonna lose Merlin soon, ... and Daisy will be the one left behind.... And me, of course...................
Can you imagine what's going at present in my mind!?!!?!? I was totally shocked, have overcome this somehow. Am trying to live with this cat, who I love more than I ever have loved a cat before. Who looks at me. Who sleeps in my hands. The same hands which in a few whatevers of time will take away his life.I have to decide WHEN. I am very sorry for the fac that I don't believe in God (and I've got reasons for this!). But if there is someone who looks after cats. please look after mine.

..... thank you.