George Bush - to ask him "Why?"
Dalai Lama - to ask him "How?"
Rufus Wainwright - to ask him to play "The Art Teacher" for me.
Robert Plant - to tell him "Thank-you".
Sean Penn - to pick his brain.
Pat Robertson - to poke him in the eye with a stick.
Rosie O'Donnell - to tell her I understand.
Mathew Shepard - to tell him "I'm sorry".
God - to tell him his followers are driving me insane.
Bill O'Reilly - to tell him he is not fooling me.
The Pope - to thank him for perpetuating ancient delusional superstitions, bigotry, paranoia, homophobia, pedophilia, and all out nuttiness. And to tell him that even though he is bat-shit crazy, his costumes are FABULOUS.
Your Mom - because everyone else has.
Johnny Depp - to ask him to make out with me.
Christopher Hitchens - to talk to someone definitely smarter than me.
Dean Martin - to have a cocktail and sing some songs with him.
Bill Gates - to see if he'd pay my mortgage off.
Kenneth Cole - to see if he'd take me shopping.
Madonna - to see just how inferior I could possible feel.