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lulu

I am here for Friends

About Me

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS IMMATURE SUBJECT MATTER NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME AUDIENCES. VIEWER INDISCRETION IS ILL-ADVISED. OH, AND SOMETHING ABOUT TEMPERANCE AND VIRTUE... TOGETHER AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME.Blah, blah, blah... I'm an artistic, creative, intelligent woman, with a sharp wit and a sarcastic edge... I crack myself up. I'm curious, opinionated and down-to-earth. I married my best friend. I've been blessed with the smartest, funniest most awesome boyfriend (fiance... i mean HUSBAND) ever. I've been told I have "too much personality"... I took it as a compliment. I have the 3 coolest dogs on the planet (ella, phineas and banjo). My family would describe me as being blonde, white and female. I've been around the block a few times and can't believe I'm 42 years old. Where did the time go??? I'm an observer. It takes a lot to hold my attention... would it kill you to be interesting? I have no children... that I know of. I recycle. I'm an excellent cook (chef by trade) and very passionate about food and cooking. I don't talk on my cell phone while I'm driving... ok, that's a lie... so apparently I am also a fibber. Lulu isn't my real name, but my family has been calling me that all my life. Raisins piss me off, but Brussels sprouts are the shizznit. I believe that Las Chivas on Nolensville Rd. has the best chorizo con queso ever. I'm probably more of a perv than you. I own my own tools, and I'll at least try to "fix it" myself. I've been known to cuss like a sailor and drink like the boys. Yes, I'm probably looking at the girls. Spiders make me squeal, but I'm trying to befriend those tiny snakes in my yard. I find the use of the word "jazz" as a verb to be annoying. I'm not overly concerned with the grammatical or punctuation errors in this rambling. I love animals, and cannot tolerate cruelty or neglect to our furry friends… yet I’m an unapologetic carnivore. Trivial information turns me on. I only sometimes sort the flatware when I unload the dishwasher. I like an occasional cigar with my glass of port. A sense of humor is essential. Life is too short- LAUGH!!!EAST SIDE!"Drink, pretty creature, drink!" -William Wordsworth

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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

i think it would be nice to meet a llama... or cool, artsy-fartsy people... or some sick bastard crazy enough to appreciate me for the fucked up piece of shit that i am... oh... wait... he found ME!

My Blog

poetry

i've always loved this... ain't yo mama pretty got meatballs on her titties got scrambled eggs between her legs ain't yo mama pretty
Posted by on Sun, 28 Sep 2008 10:50:00 GMT

installment 2

more band names, album titles or wrestling moves.   your mom pet pharmacy egret vacation a little help the flying croutons bus stop liquor store short jittery burst similar behavior nowhere in ...
Posted by on Mon, 15 Sep 2008 12:05:00 GMT

suicide machines

"suicide machines" AKA "together wendy" (yes, lisa?)* i was wishing i had a suicide machine during a good chunk of the evening last night... as i accompanied my new huzzbinn to the springsteen show (...
Posted by on Fri, 22 Aug 2008 20:52:00 GMT

kinda related

sorta related to my previous post... i had this dream once several years ago... i was in some band, and we were on the road and our vehicle had broken down and when a guy walked up to me and asked who...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:52:00 GMT

band? album?

ok... so... often in life i hear words or phrases that i think are amusing or stupid OR would be fuckin kick-ass names for a band or an album or a wresting move. sometimes it's something i came up wit...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:35:00 GMT

are you F-in me in the M???

ok...  i was just seeing what the comment to my last bloggin' was... it was kudos and i began to wonder: can you just give one kudo? must it always be plural? if it's singular, is it void?? ...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:26:00 GMT

further proof that i need a life

i just counted how many m&m's in a 14 oz. bag.... there were exactly 450. there were 119 blue ones, 60 browns, 101 orange, 51 greens, 72 yellow and 47 red. this comes out to 26.4% blue, 13.3% brow...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

mattie

i lost my best friend today. i had to have my 16 yr old mattie euthanized.  she had become weak and frail...depressed and incontinent.  she fell down on a regular basis, often unable to get ...
Posted by on Fri, 09 Dec 2005 16:09:00 GMT

holy shit... they found my car!

never thought it would happen... but it's true. she was stolen late night august 23rd or early morning august 24th...  right out of my driveway. i had given up... in fact had even thought it to b...
Posted by on Mon, 28 Nov 2005 18:17:00 GMT

i just want to sleep

hurt sick confused alone pissed lost sad awake awake awake  
Posted by on Tue, 01 Nov 2005 02:31:00 GMT