Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.
BRILLIANT!
I just thought of something funny...your mother. - Cheech Marin
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach
the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. It will
nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for
me to justify your desire for worldly things.Take a little more time and
think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife! I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothing's wrong', and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied,
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.
Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: dan
Birthday: july 3
Birthplace: a hospital
Current Location: township
Eye Color: hazel
Hair Color: brown
Height: 6' 1"
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: german/austrian, italian, irish,
The Shoes You Wore Today: adidas
Your Weakness: gas prices
Your Fears: no girls
Your Perfect Pizza: sausage
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: get myself a college
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: god damit, school
Your Best Physical Feature: height
Your Bedtime: Whenever i choose
Your Most Missed Memory: i forgot
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: burger king
Single or Group Dates: doesnt matter
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: neither
Do you Smoke: no
Do you Swear: yes
Do you Sing: not exactly
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: maybe
Do you want to go to College: yes
Do you want to get Married: sooner or later
Do you belive in yourself: yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: you tell me
Are you a Health Freak: once in a while
Do you get along with your Parents: if they get along with me
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: no
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: yes
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: no
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: yes
How do you want to Die: laughing
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: 3d digital models
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!