I am an eclectic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike piano playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I can cook 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a vetran in love, and an outlaw in Costa Rica.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, once I single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of many documentaries. When im bored I dig large holes. I also enjoy urban hang gliding. I am a columnist for the Daily Planet. On wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my origional line of corduroy evening wear. I am a private citizen, yet I recieve fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I went to Georgia with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. Twice a month I go Space diving. I know the exact location of every food item at the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week. while in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a small group on terrorists who had siezed a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I particiapte on full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the answer to life's question, it's 42. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster over. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Ghandi.
Click here for great porn!
..
