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I woo women with my sensuous and godlike piano playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I can cook 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a vetran in love, and an outlaw in Costa Rica.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, once I single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of many documentaries. When im bored I dig large holes. I also enjoy urban hang gliding. I am a columnist for the Daily Planet. On wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my origional line of corduroy evening wear. I am a private citizen, yet I recieve fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I went to Georgia with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles. Children trust me.
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