A CANNIBLE,LADYS WITH LARGE CHESTS, AND ANY OLD FUCKER WHO LIKES(PRE 1953) INDIAN MOTOR CYCLES OHH AND ADAM SANDLER HE'D BE BADASS 2 PARTY WITH!!!
In a Past Life...
You Were: A drunken grave robber.
Where You Lived: Silver City Nevada.
How You Died: When you could't pay the whore you had sex with she shot you dead!
Who Were You In a Past Life?-------------------------------------------------------
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
~ Frank Sinatra~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and all go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with a pizza."
~ Dave Barry~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
~ Humphrey Bogart~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
~ Humphrey Bogart~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To alcohol...The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
~ Homer Simpson~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.
~ Oscar Levant~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~ Winston Churchill~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
~ George Bernard Shaw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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