17980180

Well, maybe I should start from the beginning or half way through or something. I was born in a cave and raised by wolves for the first 7 years of my life. This, along with my hatred of utencils, is why I choose to eat food directly out of the bowl. I went to high school in Houston. That's all I have to say about that. I went to college in Nebraska and at LSU but not at the same time because the commute was killer. I did enjoy both places, though. They both had their good and bad points but most of all, the people were great in both places. At least I think they were. I really don't remember. After college, I went to ninja school under the tutelage of Chuck Norris but then all of those "Chuck Norris blah blah blah" sayings came out and I felt he was just too commercial so I quit and joined the Peace Corps. After I had singlehandedly defeated malaria in London, I moved back to the States and helped Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David create the sitcom, "Seinfeld". The character of George's Father, Frank Costanza was based upon me and the resemblance is amazing. Okay, I just made that part up. In my free time, I enjoy going to Carraba's on Kirby and hanging out in the bathroom learning Italian and on the weekends, I like watching grass grow. It's slow but really compelling. I can't believe I have shared so much of myself so I am going to stop now.