Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !!

About Me

Myspace Graphics
Myspace Layouts I am a writer and business owner. I love music so combine it with my love to write and then you have created healthy therapy. Being lost in my word and surrounded by the music is the one place were I can find me ..... Then the music stops and reality sets back in.There was a time or two that I was called "WIFE"... Well, that time is gone. Some may ask me why do you still were your RING? And my response is simple, "I wear this ring to as an everyday reminder of the PAIN I subjected my self to!" He was not my downfall, I was my own! I placed him high on a pedestal and catered to him like he was ROYALTY. For me at that time, in that place of my life, He WAS! I LOVED him with every since of my being!!! So I wear this RING to remind me of the PAIN and to keep me focused on what I have found matters more than Loving anyone....It is loving and respecting yourself. HE did not do ANYTHING I did not allow him to DO to me. But again, That DAY is Gone and the only person allowed to even REMOTELY disrespect this Butttafli is ME! For I have officially shed my cocoon and Butttafli realized that she is AMANSDEZIRE !!!What if I? Had a thing on the side? Made ya cry? Would the rules change up? Or would they still apply? If I played you like a toy? Sometimes I wish I could act like a boyCan't be get'n mad! What You Mad? Can't Handle that! Can't be get'n mad! What you mad? Can't handle that!
Ciara - Like A Boy lyricsHow can something as plain as paper Be symbolic of the complexity of my situationThere is so much clutter yet still I am emptyLike a sheet of paper with 25 blank lines ...or so.... emptyI'd rather be half full, @ least I'd be something Other than EmptyThe purpose of paper is to meet paint, pencil, pen hell even crayon As the purpose of the heart is to love, feel, give and receive......LOVEFOR I AM EMPTY !!!! 25 Blank Lines EMPTY !!!!Copyright Â© 2007 TrrigodFreelance. All rights reserved.
..Trapped in Fall I came upon a crying tree Then asked the tree why must you weep the tree looked down and said to be he swept me off my feet Well please don't cry was my reply I know how you must feel Love can hurt and never heal But you must know when it is real Then a leaf fell from that tree like a tear that hits the ground I left so sad and bowed my head the suddenly looked around The leaf that fell was my heart You were the wind from the very START but until you know and come to me, I'll be TRAPPED IN FALL and never FREEBeatrice Corena Graham Copyright Â©2007 Beatrice Corena Graham

My Interests

Hate on me, hater Now or later 'Cuz I'm gonna do me You'll be mad, baby (Go 'head and hate) Go 'head and hate on me, hate on 'Cuz I'm not afraid of it What I got I paid for You can hate on me
Jill Scott - Hate On Me lyricsI am interested in survival of the HEART. No other things are worth the engery if my heart doesn't survive it.Love isn't love unless it is expressed; caring isn't caring unless the other person knows; sharing isn't sharing unless the other person is included; Loving, caring, and sharing can make for a very happy marriage.

I'd like to meet:

I am not looking for a love connection. I have come to realize that no one can truly love without the pain of being broken as a result. So it tis better to not love at all. And if you not love at all, you stand a greater chance at remaining whole. "Keep your Heart On Lock"

Music:

All types of music but prefer old school ballets and R&B. The music today does not offer the same commitment to happiness or even the false promise of forever. Some of us need that to keep us watching for the possible HOPE that LOVE is REAL and that (2) People can beFOR THE RECORD !!! "I need to take my hat off to K.P. (my song) and say thanks Baby! Even if it is not real, You have given me HOPE that True love songs live on....In the soul of MAN! You could very well be my next Baby's Daddy!!! Oooops I forgot, I can't have anymore KIDS!!! YES! Thank You Baby

I dedicate this to my EX-Husband! I finally have a voice! Best of luck to you!~I am alone at a crossroads~ I'm not at home in my own home And I've tried and tried To say whats on my mind You should have known Now I'm done believing you You don't know what I'm feeling I'm more than what You've made of me I followed the voice, you gave to me But now I've gotta find my own You should have listened
Beyonce - Listen lyrics

Movies:

My favorite Movies are: WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN CITY OF ANGLES EVERYTHING TYLER PERRY & HAPPY FEET ..LOL...(BECAUSE EVEN THAT GOD DAMN LITTLE PENGUEIN FOUND HIS HEART SOUND...LOL)

Television:

Television has never been a big part of me! However I LOVE sports and will not miss a game.

Books:

The Bible, The power of a Praying Wife and the ones I wrote

Heroes:

My hero is a little girl named Daija'. She has had to overcome so many obsticles in her life yet she still presses on for a better tomorrow.

My Blog

Am I still trapped in fall???

Today you planted a seed deep in the soul of my heart It wasn't the first one you left behind but is the one that'll tear us apart. So much invested and never a return the hardest lesson finally learn...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 07:07:00 PST

Lost In the JUNGLE

The joy of love is possible only if you have known the joy of being alone, because then only, do you have something to share. Otherwise, two beggars meeting each other, clinging to each oth...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Mon, 28 May 2007 09:53:00 PST

From Pain 2 Self Healing

Pain is natural; it has to be understood, it has to be accepted. Because naturally we are afraid of pain, naturally we avoid it. Hence many people have avoided the heart and are hung up in the head, t...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Mon, 28 May 2007 09:08:00 PST

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LONELINESS AND ALONENESS

When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely - and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing ...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Mon, 28 May 2007 08:50:00 PST

I figured out Y Love doesn't Last

The lowest love is sex - it is physical - and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle. Very few people know what love i...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Mon, 28 May 2007 08:46:00 PST

Inside That I Cried

It's so hard to love and to loose and to think that you will be fine. Because you won't ! It hurts a million times greater, a thousand times longer and a hundred times over again. You see, I lov...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Fri, 18 May 2007 09:15:00 PST

Healing in the Hurt

Happy Mother's Day!!!!I should be angry right now.... Hating the all man kind ..... but can't there is so much pain yet even more love.I want to cry, I want to laugh and I want to be free......I...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Sun, 13 May 2007 09:32:00 PST

feeling like this

It's so hard to have all these different emotions..... I feel rejected and yet I feel free....... There is someone for everyone and sometimes that one person you thought you'd spend eternity with ends...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Tue, 08 May 2007 09:44:00 PST

I am she who cried!

I am she who cried all night and never to you why I feel the way i do for you and yet you still deny The Truth & refuss to feel the pain so I'll live life in the shadows of my own t...
Posted by Welcome to the Butttafli House I am Amansdezire !! on Tue, 08 May 2007 09:36:00 PST