Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell

About Me

My name is Jonathan
- 25 years old
- Libertarian
- I am a member of Sigma Tau Delta International English Honor Society
- I sell BBQ Sandwiches and make mad loot
- I own 50 Jandek albums
- I used to be straight edge
- I collect Herb Alpert records
- I drink a lot of Guinness
- I am a closet Batman fanatic
- I believe in the importance of having a repertoire
The core/basis/occasional bane of my existence is not limited to:
- Star Wars
- Dr. Pepper
- Blitzkrieg
- Horseshoes
- Shark Week
- Caffeine
- Disc golf
- Blueberry muffins
- Mogen David Blackberry Wine
- Redheads
- the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
- Knife fights
- Total control
- Screaming for pussy and blood
- Those little plastic things you stick at the ends of the corn on the cob so you don't burn your hands
HARD KID SINCE 1982 - PROTECT IT.
))((
forever.

Existentialism, deconstruction, small talk...

My Interests

We ALL make mistakes, kiddo, but most of the time, we can RIGHT 'em before they get to wrong. You only get one childhood. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't let a soul-sniper like this clown force you to grow up before you have to...

'scuse me...

...everybody rooted for the underdog till they found he could not pull the sled...

I'd like to meet:

As a whole I've found the only people interesting enough who're worth meeting are either deranged, eccentric, impenetrable...or dead...

Music:

...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead
13th Floor Elevators
Afghan Whigs
Against Me!
Beat Happening
Bedhead
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
Black Star
Boogie Down Productions
Boredoms
Boris
Brainiac
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Cave In
Leonard Cohen
John Coltrane
Converge
Crass
David & the Citizens
The Dillinger Escape Plan
Drive Like Jehu
eels
El-P
ENVY
Explosions in the Sky
Fugazi
Ghostface Killah
Girl Talk
The Good Life
HUM
HÃ¼sker DÃ¼
I Hate Myself
Immortal Technique
Jandek
The Jesus and Mary Chain
Daniel Johnston
June of 44
Jens Lekman
Mclusky
The Microphones
Nation Of Ulysses
Ol' Dirty Bastard
Pavement
Peter and the Wolf
Piebald
The Pop Group
The Pretenders
Prince
Public Image Ltd.
The Residents
Jonathan Richman
Roxy Music
Slint
The Smiths
Sparklehorse
Stars of the Lid
Suicide
Talk Talk
Television
Trespassers William
Tom Waits
the Wrens
Xiu Xiu
John Zorn

Movies:

2001: A Space Odyssey
8Â½
AKIRA
Annie Hall
Chasing Amy
Children Of Men
Chinatown
City of God
Cool Hand Luke
Dazed and Confused
Dead Poets Society
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
The Empire Strikes Back
The Graduate
Harold and Maude
High Fidelity
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Infernal Affairs
The Last Picture Show
Last Tango In Paris
Lost Highway
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
On The Waterfront
Raising Arizona
Rear Window
Reservoir Dogs
Rushmore
Seven Samurai
The Shawshank Redemption
Short Cuts
Slacker
Sling Blade
Spartacus
This Is Spinal Tap
Waking Life
Welcome to the Dollhouse
Wet Hot American Summer
Young Frankenstein

Television:

In general, putting down American Idol like I'm doing right now is pointless and pompous, because it's only making a jab at a bunch of suburban moms and their 13-year-old daughters anyway - ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence and sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off...
But every so often when I donâ€™t feel the urge to throw my television out the window due to the sickness that 24 hour televised poker is, you can catch me watching any of the following:
Arrested Development
Columbo
COPS
Dexter
Entourage
Flight of the Conchords
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
LOST
Metalocalypse
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Moral Orel
Mr. Show
Robot Chicken
Samurai Jack
The Simpsons
Six Feet Under
Strangers With Candy
Twin Peaks
Weeds
Wonder Showzen
The X-Files

Books:

Paul Auster
Lester Bangs
Jorge Luis Borges
Ray Bradbury
Charles Bukowski
Anthony Burgess
William S. Burroughs
Stephen Chbosky
Noam Chomsky
Robert Cormier
Douglas Coupland
Mark Z. Danielewski
Richard Dawkins
Philip K. Dick
Fyodor Dostoevsky
Dave Eggers
T.S. Eliot
Bret Easton Ellis
William Faulkner
Jonathan Franzen
Marcus Garvey
Allen Ginsberg
Matthew Good
Graham Greene
Dick Gregory
Brian Jacques
James Joyce
Franz Kafka
Jack Kerouac
Chuck Klosterman
JT LeRoy
Gabriel GarcÃa MÃ¡rquez
Henry Miller
Haruki Murakami
Vladimir Nabokov
Friedrich Nietzsche
Chuck Palahniuk
Elliot Perlman
Ayn Rand
Tom Robbins
Bertrand Russell
J. D. Salinger
Jean-Paul Sartre
David Sedaris
Hunter S. Thompson
John Kennedy Toole
John Updike
Gore Vidal
Kurt Vonnegut
Howard Zinn

Heroes:

Banksy
Lenny Bruce
CÃ©sar ChÃ¡vez
ee cummings
Mark Oliver Everett (E)
Bill Hicks
Jackson Pollock
Franklin D. Roosevelt

My Blog

It's official - MY PSYCH PROFESSOR IS A GOD

The following was actually quite funny and 100% true. Last week my psych professor was in the middle of lecture and he had his computer set up to go to a photo-slide show screen saver sort of th...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Mon, 12 Sep 2005 11:03:00 PST

Lé Cinema

How many of the IMDB Top 250 Films Of All Time have I seen?[X]1. The Godfather (1972) [X]2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) [X]3. The Godfather: Part II (1974) []4. Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 10:28:00 PST

ee cummings

"dot dot dot .spacccee penny & nbsp; &nb...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 10:34:00 PST

Patton

The flag was always bigger somehow,with you in front of it,but seemed smaller just the sameand paled in comparison.Hell you were that flag -upon your demeanor and sandpaper skin,Old Glory...Old Blood ...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 10:08:00 PST

The Parlor Tricks of Shadow Boxing (A Theory On Dancing)

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was" - Anne Sexton My father used to hang around Tennessee Williamsin Florida in 1970,after he got outta the military.And then there ...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 10:07:00 PST

Christmas 2006 Results

So here's how I made out this year: Dazed and Confused: The Criterion EditionSpartacus: The Criterion EditionAnnie HallHarold and MaudeThe Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus 16 Ton Mega...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 12:51:00 PST

Jeff City Jon - The Documentary

So after something like 9 or 10 months of waiting, Tony finally finished it. Behold: Jeff City Jon - The Documentary (If you're confused how to download it after you clicked the link a...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 09:54:00 PST

Tony's X-Rated Home Videos

You know how Bob Dylan's "One More Cup Of Coffee" is all amazing and stuff...well...this isn't like that at all... Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 ecstasy (plural ecstasies) The steet name of the drug MDMA, a...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 10:58:00 PST

Swept away by her own washed up ego

First it was that foolishness with her "uber righteous" Kabbalah banter... Then it was Missy Elliott's stupid ass, who decided to flog a dead horse and convince Madonna's white ass that she could rap ...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 10:48:00 PST

Warrior Wisdom

If anyone is wondering just WTF "Warrior Wisdom" is, it's in reference to THE WARRIOR...YES...THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!! Yeah, I know if any of you are having that thought right now, I don't blame ...
Posted by Stop, Drop and Roll Does Not Work in Hell on Sat, 15 Apr 2006 11:08:00 PST