Monica

Forget Milton Berle! Forget Fanny Brice! Forget the Ritz Brothers! They don't hold a candle to me, because I'm the Toast of Vaudeville! I've done it all—crooned with Cantor, joked with Jolson, and tap-danced at the Palace with Gypsy Rose Lee.I'm a headliner, a juggler, a ventriloquist and a Alto all wrapped up into one showbiz colossus. First, I warm 'em up with a little acrobatic derring-do, followed by an old Irish ditty my Mama used to sing to me, then I send 'em rolling in the aisles with a little seltzer down the pants! Just throw on the spotlights and grab onto your seats, because you ain't seen nothin' yet!Whether I'm doing one of my Gilbert & Sullivan medleys, riding my golden unicycle, or taking a custard pie in the face, you can bet the house will be packed to the rafters. Why? Because the name Monica Bruno means one thing: non-stop entertainment!Nobody leaves my show unsatisfied. I've done all the big venues—the Hippodrome, the Rialto, the Colonial Theater in Boston—and wherever I've been, the Bruno name is legend. They can't help but recall my trained seal act, my bawdy limericks, or my scandalous fan dance.Eddie Foy, eat your heart out!After my show, you won't catch anyone throwing rotten tomatoes or threatening me with "the hook." When that audience sees me up there on bended knee, dressed in my red-and-white striped suit, clutching my straw hat and singing "Sweet Adeline," a shower of roses crosses the proscenium arch and the audience's tears of joy are punctuated by thunderous applause.Some people say Vaudeville is dead. They say the moving pictures and the phonograph cylinder are putting live shows out of business. They say that one day, people will be able to enjoy high-quality entertainment in their own homes. Well I say fiddlesticks!Nothing can replace the song-and-dance man as the czar of entertainment.I got my layout at Cleanupmyspace.com