blah blah to tha 99th power you bastard
born in webster tx
moved to austin in 98
moved to west hollywood, ca in 99-05.
moved here and said hello to hurricane rita or more like the hot confusion of hwy 45.
i now live in clear lake, (houston) TX which in my opinion houses some of the worse people in america. actually our own georgie bushie lived in clear lake during the 70's at an apartment we simply call castle mustard. like any city, we have the stuck up, the needy, the rich, the poor (my catagory), and 90% of them are total assholes. i really do hate this place. im not very liked in clear lake at all. its probably the way i look. i dont dress like a gangsta, so they treat me like shit. though ill tell you, im a gangsta at heart. its not a secret - you just gotta know me. actually the truth is that im so insecure about my own social skills, (and pretty much everything else about me) that i feel this un-natural hatred toward the public around me. my fear of crowded public places has gotten somewhat worse than ever. i constantly worry about the future. sometimes i get stuck in the past. medication is always poisoning my blood. it has changed me much, but has not stopped my creativity as my doctor said it possibly could do. if anything i didnt stop writing music just so i could keep evolving. hello, im alan - i have social anxiety and depression. the depression is at the point where it is giving my body physical pain. i have to stop thinking about my "changing environment" or how much ive changed, and get on back to finding peace. im sick of hiding it, im sick of not caring or trying to act like i dont give a shit anymore. cause i know somewhere in me, feels it all too real - actually ... just like YOU. were no different really. thankfully my wife keeps me just at the point of sane retraction through action.
