Gerald

Gerard Fag Messiah Evil Mutant Cybernetic Alien Vampire From The Year -3000 Way (better known by his stage name of Gerard Way) is a musician, writer, fag, poet, messiah, evil mutant, and cybernetic alien vampire from the year -3000.
Gerard Way is the leader of the Hot Topic guerrilla unit and anal-bead enthusiast organization My Chemical Romance, an organization whose main goal is to steal souls of unworthy, idiotic 12 year olds.
Gerard Way was born in the death-stench bowels of Hell (commonly known as New Jersey), and as a lesbian vampire infant, he immediately began training as a preacher of Scientology. He quickly became Tom Cruise (who isn't gay)’s prodigy, and boy-lover. However, Gerard soon realised that Tom Cruise was a grade A (considering the grading curve) asshole and didn’t like the way he had tried to molest Oprah with his mind powers. Gerard left the grand temple of Scientology, to enter Clown College, where he learned how to properly apply his make-up (something that would prove to be very useful in later years), and he also perfected his Parkinson's disease style dance moves.
In the year of the Oatcake, Gerard created the guerrilla unit and anal-bead enthusiast organization My Chemical Romance to help combat the influx of collar-flipping Dave Matthews fans into the world, and to enable him to brainwash countless twelve year old girls into sacrificing themselves to his masturbatory aide/corporate overlord, Hot Topic. He wanted to keep his cock thank you very much. However, Satan stipulated that in order for Gerard to keep his cock, he would have to take a vow of near silence. The only words he could use were “Yes” “No”, “fuck me” and “coffee”.
In the year 3045, Gerard’s unit started calling him “OK” due to his monosyllabic forms of replying to questions. He got so frustrated with this name that one day he screamed a the top of his lungs “I’M NOT O-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” and his vow of almost silence was broken forever. At this moment Satan showed up and stole his cock, and this explains Gerard’s pale face, homosexuality, and unblinking eyes. However, this was also the beginning of My Chemical Romance's success in world domination, so it wasn't all bad in Gerard's eyes. Scientists believe that the sudden change of speech use warped his brain.
No speech = quiet frustration from nickname. Frustration from nickname = anger. Anger = Dramatic outburst. Dramatic Outburst = brain scramble.
He now is unable to stop himself from speaking. Only the following items can stop him mid-rant.
Gerard Way only likes cheddar apparently. He was introduced to other types of cheese by his bandmate, Ray, but it didn't go too well and as a result Gerard wrote the infamous "You Know What I Do To Cheese Like That In My Kitchen" in which he displayed his sadistic nature of torturing poor defenceless cheeses.
He has also never drank milk or eaten bread.
You will rarely see Gerard mutating, as it is a very hard thing to catch. There is only one picture on record ever taken of Gerard mutating, and the photographer was instantly turned into sheddar cheese and anally raped to the track of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson
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