O Captain! My Captain! profile picture

O Captain! My Captain!

I am here for Friends

About Me

Hello ThereI’m a modern man, Digital and smoke-free; A man for the millennium.A diversified, multi-cultural, Post-modern deconstructionist; Politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading.I’m a high-tech low-life, A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, Bi-coastal multi-tasker, And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.I’m new-wave, but I’m old school; And my inner child is outward-bound.I’m a hot-wired, heat-seeking, Warm-hearted cool customer; Voice-activated and bio-degradable.I interface with my database; My database is in cyberspace; So I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive, And from time to time I’m radioactive.Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, Ridin’ the wave, dodgin’ the bullet, Pushin’ the envelope.I’m on point, on task, on message, And off drugs.I’ve got no need for coke and speed; I’ve got no urge to binge and purge,I’m in the moment, on the edge, Over the top, but under the radar.A high-concept, low-profile, Medium-range ballistic missionary.I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.I’m a totally ongoing, big-foot, slam-dunk Rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic; Out of rehab and in denial.I’ve got a personal trainer, A personal shopper, A personal assistant, And a personal agenda.You can’t shut me up; You can’t dumb me down.‘Cause I’m tireless, I’m wireless. I’m an alpha-male on beta-blockers.I’m a non-believer, I’m an over-achiever; Laid-back and fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home; Low-rent, high maintenance.I’m super-sized, long-lasting, High-definition, fast-acting, Oven-ready and built to last.A hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case; Prematurely post-traumatic, And I have a love child who sends me hate-mail.But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing, A supportive, bonding, nurturing Primary-care giver.My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.I read junk mail, I eat junk food I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.I’m gender-specific, capital-intensive, User-friendly and lactose-intolerant.I like rough sex; I like tough love. I use the f-word in my e-mail. And the software on my hard drive Is hard core--no soft porn.I bought a microwave at a mini-mall. I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast food in the slow lane.I’m toll-free, bite-size, ready-to-wear, And I come in all sizes.A fully equipped, factory authorized, Hospital-tested, clinically proven, Scientifically formulated medical miracle.I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, Pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, Post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped And vacuum-packed.And…I have unlimited broadband capacity.I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock; Rough, tough and hard to bluff.I take it slow, I go with the flow; I ride with the tide, I’ve got glide in my stride.Drivin’ and movin’, sailin’ and spinnin’; Jivin’ and groovin’; wailin’ and winnin’I don’t snooze, so I don’t loose. I keep the pedal to the metal. And the rubber to the road. I party hearty, and lunchtime is crunch time.I’m hangin’ in, there ain’t no doubt; And I’m hangin’ tough. Over and out. -George Carlin
Because you are lazy, here is the same quote as spoken by George Carlin

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Ladies, lots of them.Oh, and Cary Grant, but he's dead so what can you do?.

My Blog

Carrot Madness

I was standing in line at the smoothie shop today and a kid cut in line in front of me.  We've all seen it, he strolled right up and  started talking to someone near the front of the line, a...
Posted by on Sat, 24 Nov 2007 19:10:00 GMT

Harry Quiz

Find out your Harry Potter personality at LiquidGeneration!
Posted by on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 23:08:00 GMT

So this is me

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 80% Stability |||||| 26% Orderliness |||||||||| 36% Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Interdependence ||||...
Posted by on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 22:51:00 GMT

Best Quiz EVER

Your results:You are SupermanSuperman 100%Hulk 85%The Flash 80%Spider-Man 75%Wonder Woman 73%Supergirl 73%Green Lantern 70%Batman 70%Robin 65%Iron Man 60%Catwoman 30%You are mild-mannered, good, stron...
Posted by on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 01:48:00 GMT

Come on down to Taco Town


Posted by on Sun, 20 May 2007 13:18:00 GMT

Gorgeous

Gorgeous
Posted by on Sun, 20 May 2007 13:14:00 GMT

The first pictures of me.

This is GrantThis is Grant on cakeAny Questions?
Posted by on Thu, 17 May 2007 09:22:00 GMT

The American Way, as sung by brits.

A Damn Fine Song.
Posted by on Tue, 15 May 2007 23:25:00 GMT

A Funny Song From A Cool Dude

Hugh Laurie is a cool Dude. Yes he is
Posted by on Tue, 15 May 2007 19:17:00 GMT

Bulletin Blues

I don't get it. What exactly is this bulletin thing for. I keep seeing people post surveys, what the hell is that? Why is everyone suddenly interested in statistical information about others' lives.Th...
Posted by on Tue, 15 May 2007 11:38:00 GMT