chronicskinny [finally back]

About Me

..
Get your layout from Whateverlife.com
This is my secret account. I made this account so that I could get support/tips/help from other Ana/Mia people without being attacked by my friends and family, as usual. My therapist says that I have EDNOS, but I refuse to accept that; for I believe EDNOS is not a true eating disorder. I definately fast more than I purge and purge more than I chew and spit. As far as my experience goes...the easiest way to lose weight is by eating less than 500-600 cals a day (for enough strength to work out) and working out for at least 2 hours a day. I don't want to be told how I should be or be criticized by anyone...I'm not here for that. I just want to know that there are others like me out there who believe that zero is the ultimate acheivement.
Statistics of ME:
-I have been diagnosed for 3 years...although my condition constantly changes.
-My current weight is 115.
-My lowest weight was 101.
-My BMI is 20 i think....
-My goal weight is 98 lbs, for now.
-I have also been diagnosed with:
.Borderline Personality Disorder.
.Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
.Depression.
.& some characteristics of OCD/PTSD.
-It sounds a little excessive but most of my disorders go together...for example most people with BPD also have Anorexia or Bulimia, with OCD. Also, most people with BPD have depression and most people with depression have anxiety disorders.
-I tend to Self-Injure alot, but I have a million ways of hiding it...I'm starting to recover very well from cutting myself/self-medicating.
-My family/friends think that I have recovered from my eating disorder, as well as my self-injuring habits...for a while I did too, but I'm just not finished with Ana yet...there is still so much more to be done before I can quit her for good.
-Just for the sake of understanding eating disorders and mental illness; I was physically, mentally & sexually abused as a child. The only people who are aware of this are my immediate family, my closest friends, my boyfriend & my therapist. It helps me to believe that this is the cause of my disorder, I'm not sure why. But, I also believe that this is my choice and I could quit if I wanted to.

My Interests

becoming skinnier! tanning. coffee w/ splenda. hoodia. working out. sex. softball. dancing. fiji water. diet green tea. hip/collarBONES &hearts;

I'd like to meet:

The Important Stuff
Age: 19
Weight: 120
Heighest Weight: 128
Lowest Weight: 101
Goal Weight : 98
Fave food : I'm a sucker for Mint CC IceCream
Fave Drink : Diet Coke
Fave Exercise : Running
Thinspo : "If I eat anything I'll eat everything So I eat nothing."
Where do you slip up? When my friends are eating.
When did it start? It didn't get bad until I was 16...but I had the thoughts way before then.
Why did it start? I hated myself...& after a really hard breakup I figured I'd push myself and see how far I could go.
Does Anyone know? Yep.
Do you want help? I've gone to therapy a lot...I get better and then just slip back into it.
Diet pills? NV works pretty good.
fave binge food: Mint CC Ice Cream.
Fave dieting food: Special K Bars
How many cals do you consume a day? Depends. I usually don't keep any of it down.
What tips do you use to lose weight? I have some of the in my blog.
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Fat. Disgusting. Ugly.
Are you in a relationship? The social me does yes, he's amazing. But in my real world, the one where ana rules me, I don't have anyone...I'm alone.
If so, Do they pressure you to be thin? No, he always wants me to eat.
Are you the fat or thin one out of your friends? fat.
Are you depressed? yeah, but my meds help.
Do you self harm? Yes, not as bad as I used to though...again my meds help.
Ever tried to commit suicide? a few times.
Ever been to a psychologist?? yes.
Fave song? i have a million!

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

real girl thinspo

My Blog

My OCD Behaviors and Quirks

-constantly changing the radio station/song -touching my fork to the table two times in between bites -i like having the shower on all the time -i like being in small spaces with the door locked and s...
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 09:09:00 PST

my song for ana...

this song really reminds me of the way i feel about anorexia sometimes...you should really read the lyrics... #1 Crush by Garbage I would die for youI would die for youI've been dying just to feel you...
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 10:47:00 PST

LOW CAL Stuff!

Low Cal stuff that fills you up...PLUS www.calorieking.com is the bomb. Carbonated Flavored Water 0 CALS! Diet Green Tea 0 CALS! Pretzels 17 for 110 Cals. Dill Pickle 5 Cals. 1 Egg 17 Cals. Pria Energ...
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:31:00 PST

Le Plan

Currently... I am taking my medications::: paxil, propanolol & trinessa. Paxil for my ED/Panic Disorder/Depression. ((I know I shouldn't take my paxil...but I get so sad if I don't and it gets to ...
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:24:00 PST

Story from the life of ME.

The first time I tried to kill myself. Warning...this is kinda graphic and triggering...and sad. Things were bad at home, in fact I couldn't even live with my mother or father and I'm an only child......
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Sun, 15 Apr 2007 10:13:00 PST

personality test

Advanced Global Personality Test Results http://similarminds.com/types/extraversion.html" target="_blank">Extraversion |||||||||||||| 60% http://similarminds.com/types/stability.html" target...
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 12:21:00 PST

Last Dance with Mary Jane

Good God Damn. I love Marijuana, but I have come to the conclusion that...I can't have it anymore...Does it slow or speed your metabolism...I don't know. But I do know that it makes me want to eat...e...
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:02:00 PST

How i do it...

Well, I'm not really sure what to talk about. Maybe just some tips that I use to lose weight?... I drink a lot while I'm eating, so when you purge it all comes out much easier. After I eat I either d...
Posted by chronicskinny [finally back] on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 06:31:00 PST