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I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys

"Ah, computer dating. It's a lot like pimping, only you don't have to use the phrase, 'Upside your head'." ~ Bender B. Rodriguez
MySpace is a great place to kick back and be silly...Just looking for fun people and great times. I am not looking for someone to take care of me, I have my own place, own money and my own life. I am divorced, no kids - NO DRAMA.
I am not here for one-night stands, to be your mistress or join in on hot fun with you and your spouse - SO DO NOT ASK! Otherwise, if you want to laugh, hang out, watch movies...hit me up.
MyGen Profile Generator Soaking up is what you do directly after saddle-backing
http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/full-ep...

California bans gay marriage, and Kevin Johnson discusses being mayor-elect of Sacramento.

Dan Savage gives great.. interview.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

My Blog

Cal-servatives have done it again!

No to Gay Marriage  No to Renewable Energy  No to Alternative Fuels  YES to Farm Animals... WTF? I believe that we should not have diseased animals and there is over-crowding on farms. ...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:48:00 GMT

Glass Case of Emotion

I am tired.I am ready to scream.Sometimes you see a situation for the first time and envision the outcome and know the end is not going to be what is hoped for by the other person. Sometimes you say t...
Posted by on Fri, 10 Oct 2008 12:14:00 GMT

My Celebrity Look-alikes.... I am so sad

So I guess I look like a guy... A LOT of them.. boo hooMyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph
Posted by on Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:01:00 GMT

Not so common criminal

I am passing this on because I hate being treated like a shady tea-bag. I know it is a bit long.. but it was a fantastic night.. lol(skip to the end for the conversations)*****************************...
Posted by on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 04:01:00 GMT

All About Me...as told by RumandMonkey.com

What Kind of Drunk Are You?Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Posted by on Mon, 26 May 2008 19:27:00 GMT

Falling...

Maybe we've gone too faranother emotional tie on meand I don't know who you really arePutting my trust in yousafe in your presence I will beif I thought it was the thing to do with youWhere do we go f...
Posted by on Mon, 26 May 2008 10:40:00 GMT

Kindergarten was so 1981

So we meet again. Me, you, that familiar sense of impending doom. The gut feeling I get when I meet you for the first time. I tend to ignore my instincts and think with my heart and not my head. No lo...
Posted by on Sun, 11 May 2008 01:41:00 GMT

New Ink.. Tat 3 finally done.. shhh dont tell my mom. I told her!

After many months of saying I was doing this, I finally had the time and appt opening to get 3 done...The pushpin heart from Tim Burton's VooDoo Girl poem and Sketch! i feel a connection with this pie...
Posted by on Tue, 06 May 2008 19:46:00 GMT

I am a liar

But only to myself. To you I am truthful and honest and I am me...The mirror's reflection taunts me and says otherwise...Although, I have a sneaky suspicion, most of you already know...
Posted by on Fri, 02 May 2008 20:46:00 GMT

I ’Heart’ Ray Liotta

If only he could still look like he did when he was "Shoeless" Joe Jackson!!! Dreamy!xoxoJules
Posted by on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 09:19:00 GMT