Sissy

Well, I was trying to quit smoking using a rubber band trick called behavior modifi..something another, where I snap my wrist with a rubber band every time I get the urge to light a cigarette, but then my sister died after she tripped over my next door neighbor's wooden legs on her way to the bathroom in a seedy motel so I need a cigarette real bad. My sister's kids Latrell and Lavonda are trying to arrange the funeral but just can't get along - mostly because Lavonda wants to bury her with an old mink stole on and Latrelle thinks it's summer and too hot. I'm also having to console Noleta, the wife of the man who was in the motel with my sister when she died. She lives out in my back yard and has thrown all his stuff outside and says if he doesn't come get it then she's having a yard sale. My nephew Brother Boy is locked up in the funny farm because he thinks he's Tammy Wynette and Latrelle doesn't want him to come to the funeral, but you know, if you squint your eyes, he looks just like Tammy - in the early years. Lavonda says it's because Latrelle's son Ty is gay just like Brother Boy and that she doesn't want people to think bad about the family.With all this drama and me not smoking, I'm just about ready to explode! I think I need a valium, or maybe two!