Ass Kickers Inc. â„¢ (Flogging Metalhead) profile picture

Ass Kickers Inc. â„¢ (Flogging Metalhead)

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About Me

WHAT IS ASS KICKERS INC.? THIS HISTORY STARTS IN THE VAST CANADIAN WOODS, WHERE A TEST TUBE BABY WAS BORN, AND SOON ADOPTED BY AN AMERICAN COUPLE, WHO HAPPENED TO BE SECRET MILITARY OPERATIVES DURING THE REAGAN ADMINISTRATION. THESE PARENTS RAISED THE CANADIAN ON THE TOUGHEST STREETS OF LITTLETON, COLORADO. THE NAME OF THE C.E.O AND FOUNDER OF ASS KICKERS INC.? MIKE! IT JUST SO HAPPENS MIKES MISSION STATEMENT IS TO FLOG THE ASS OF ANNOYING, STUPID FREAKS. ASS KICKERS INC. HAS GONE TO GREAT LENGTHS TO USE THE MILITARY TRAINING OUR FOUNDER, MIKE WAS RAISED WITH. MIKE HAS USED SAID TRAINING TO TRAIN A FLEET OF ANGRY LLAMAS AND CATS AS WELL AS A FEW LOYAL EMPLOYEES, WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE FORMER NHL ENFORCERS (BOB PROBERT IS OUR PRESIDENT) TO DEPLOY AND DELIVER FLOGGINGS WHEN ITS NEEDED, AND/OR WHEN EVER MIKE PLEASES. WHICH IS OFTEN BECAUSE WELL, MIKE HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH HIS FREE TIME, HEY! HE IS AN ANGRY OUT OF WORK CANADIAN. SO, BEWARE STUPID PEOPLE, BUT PLEASE, TAKE THIS ASS KICKING YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE, VERY PERSONAL. FOR WHICH ASS KICKERS INC. WILL RULE THE WORLD. MAHALO MR. B.. .. ..
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My Interests


My Blog

An ode to Yankee Stadium

This Tuesday will mark the very last MLB All-star joke of a game. My baseball loyalties, as well documented, belong to both the Rockies and Redsox. I have a lot of family in New York, and they're A...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:23:00 PST

MIKE GOES AMERICA ALL OVER EVERYBODYS ASS

Coming off the heels of the 4th of July, which has been a part of tradition for me, to sit outside with some beer and watch morons shoot ILLEGAL fireworks, mean while this crazy bitch, was walking her...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 02:10:00 PST

Mikes view on travel

My ex girlfriend used to drive me bonkers at times, she loved to travel, me, not so much. first off, i never understood, thus got annoyed when your sitting in class and some dumb ass chick is bragging...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:31:00 PST

I hate my generation

I hate my generation is a song by a great 90's band, cracker.I was disturbed today to read/hear that about 17 teenaged/high school kids in new england, made a pact to ALL get pregnet, and some did, by...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:09:00 PST

SAMSARA

Im sorry...that im an outsider..im not a social butterfly, that has to get drunk every night. i dont smoke nor snort everything with in reach. im sorry i do have my vices in tobacco..im sorry  i ...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Fri, 06 Jun 2008 11:38:00 PST

SHAKE YOUR ASS 08

This november, if your sober enough, have nothing better to do, are not getting laid.VOTE for president. IF you FEEL like voting, BUT  but for who? McCain? Obama? Nader? NO. were voting for the S...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:54:00 PST

Hey Tiger, play a REAL sport

Today people around the Ass Kickers Inc. office were foaming at the mouth, shouting various cuss words. WHY? because of Tiger Woods, the most household name in perhaps, ALL of sports, dude rakes in a ...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 06:17:00 PST

The Mahalo/bro hym

First off, let me just point and laugh at some 18-19 year old jackoff from some loser state, this jerk off thought he would be a pain in the ass, and send me some sarcastic messsage, down right silly,...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Mon, 02 Jun 2008 02:06:00 PST

Where have ya gone Saturady Moring Toons?

One of the best, if not THE best things about growing up in the 80's and the wee hours of the 90's. the Saturday morning cartoons. Im writing this as im watching my "the adventures of super Mario brot...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Sat, 24 May 2008 03:31:00 PST

Race Relations

40 Years ago this past April marked the murder of Martin Luther King, King was killed by a white man. In 1992 Los Angeles (and other major cities) were embarked by riots, the LA riots were sparked by ...
Posted by Ass Kickers Inc. " (Flogging Metalhead) on Thu, 22 May 2008 11:52:00 PST