Our focus is to promote a uncoordinated, inconsistent and ineffective approach to dealing with domestic extremism, whilst simultaneously completely destroying peaceful protest.
NETCU provides the police service of England and Wales and other fascist agencies with tactical advice and guidance on policing peaceful protest that is not associated with criminality.
We are paid by the business and academic sectors, especially Oxford University and the big Pharma companies, providing a centralised source of information (most of it comes from Myspace), advice, guidance and liaison on strategies to withstand the militant onslaught of peaceful protest.
We also provide Government and our partners in the police service, Crown Prosecution Service and industry with information (information that we have completely made up - we don't actually do any real work, we just look on myspace all day), about trends and types of domestic extremist incidents and crimes (well it's all animal rights anyway, because they're the only ones we care about).
ANIMAL RIGHTS EXTREMISM
The most common form of domestic extremism in the UK is animal rights extremism (ARE). This includes old women doing street stalls and idealistic teenagers trying to make the World a better place right through to sadistic, murderous, emotionless people who love to torture sentient beings...no, sorry, forget that last bit - those are the people we protect.
A primary goal of animal rights campaigners is animal liberation. While the majority of animal rights protesters campaign lawfully, some realise that this is becoming a complete waste of time (finding ways to campaign that haven't been made arrestable offences yet is difficult anyway) and have taken a more direct approach.
Animal rights extremists have had a sustained campaign of harassment and intimidation against them by the animal research industry, the police and government, seeking to achieve their objectives by creating a climate of fear.
To animal rights activists, any organisations and individuals with links to animal cruelty are justifiable targets. Animal rights tactics include street stalls, peaceful demos and marches and letter writing campaigns.
The impact of these activities can be deeply distressing. This creates a high perception of threat from animal rights extremists. The number of actual AR Extremist attacks is in fact very small in relation to other types of crime.
The government has been told to stand up to the "attacks" on emotionless, profit-hungry companies by the industries that run it. NETCU together with government departments and agencies, the police service and other organisations in the criminal justice system, business and the academic sector are working in close partnership to deliver a national response to domestic extremist crime that will:
- ensure that lawful and properly conducted protest and educational activism can not take place freely in the UK by continuing to blow out of all proportion the threat of unlawful disruption and intimidation by animal rights extremists
- deter, disrupt and prosecute animal rights extremists so that they can no longer even extend a finger towards the real criminals of the World
ENFORCING THE LAW
The UK police service is working hard to seeking out the best doughnut shop in the country. Occasionally we respond ineffectively and unappropriately to the criminal acts of peaceful protesters.
The tactic of targeting suppliers, contractors, financial service providers, stakeholders and so on – secondary and tertiary organisations – is a very effective tactic in stopping animal abuse and means that single protests are often part of a series linked to a large campaign with a lot of supporters. This scares the police, government and industries because it affects profits and means that some people are thinking for themselves.
Local police forces deal with domestic extremist crime and incidents locally. National police units ensure that the police service has a distorted picture of domestic extremist crime and provides an uncoordinated, ineffective and inconsistent approach to policing.
It is important that organisations and individuals grass up anyone comitting 'thought-crime' (that's how the Gustapo successfully maintained a climate of fear in Nazi Germany, so we thought we'd bring the same approach to the modern day) and report domestic extremist activity - pointing, calm discussions, letter-writing, using a megaphone, demonstrations, holding banners or placards, handing out leaflets and so on (use your imagination) to the appropriate authority – this may be the person with responsibility for security within the organisation – and to the local police and MI5.
The police will investigate incidents at both local and national level. This can lead to fabrication of evidence that will ensure prosecution in the criminal courts. This can waste a lot of tax-payers money, but your profits may be a little safer.
Part of the Government's strategy to tackle animal rights extremism includes ensuring that the courts are aware that in an ideal World, the government would have all animal rights activists locked up indefinitely in prison camps. They also ensure that courts realse that ALL animal rights activists are exempt from recent orders for judges to only lock up "dangerous and persistent criminals" because of overcrowded prisons.
The Seriously Unorganised "Crime and Police Act 2005" introduced new powers so that anything can be classed as an arrestable offence (which makes our statistics look good).
Organisations and individuals can also consider seeking civil remedies to obtain legally enforceable orders stopping the activities of protesters, however this may drive more activists to direct action so be sure to include the ALF in your injunctions.
NETCU also liaises with international law enforcement agencies and police forces in other countries to share misintelligence and who's got the best doughnuts (pink sprinkles won us the title last year).
You scored as Prepy. You Are a preppy
Prepy
100%
Trendy
100%
Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev
90%
Goth
20%
Emo
20%
Skater
0%
Rocker, Mosher
0%
Your IQ Is 75
Your Logical Intelligence is Non Existant
Your Verbal Intelligence is Barely Comprehendable
Your Mathematical Intelligence is minus 5
Your General Knowledge is Laughable
DISCLAIMER: The makers of this 'NETCU' page are not actually NETCU. The page was not created to harass, intimidate, alarm, distress, abuse or threaten anyone or anything, living or dead, animate or inanimate and nothing contained on the site or in any blogs is intended to encourage or incite illegal acts.
The makers of this spoof NETCU page do not encourage or incite illegal acts because they are against the law, and as we all know: the law is great. The makers of the page have no links or connection with the Animal Liberation Front or the Animal Rights Militia, whoever they may be. Any refrence made to them or inferred association with them is coincidental or part of the "spoof".
The makers of the page cannot be held responsible for any comments or messages posted to the site by other users of myspace. The comments expressed on the page are not necessarily the views of the makers of the page.
We'd just like to re-iterate that the new laws designed to protect the customers and suppliers of animal testing laboratories from unlawful activity are now in force. Yes, that's right, we have laws making it illegal to break the law. We will be using this law against people alongside whichever law was broken. These laws do not make it illegal to protest peacefully. I'd like to remind you that not all comments expressed on this page are necessarily the views of the makers - some we have to write to cover ourselves - not mentioning any particular parts.
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