It's funny.. for a guy that gets bored so easy I realized that I haven't updated my "About Me" in quite some time. So, here comes another random free thought.
So... You really want to know more about Me. What makes Magnus truly Magnus. Well, it's simple... provided you understand the complete workings of stephen hawking, Gomer Pyle, and the users manual from a 1969 Corvette Stingray ZL1. If you don't, then I suggest you quickly run to your nearest bookstore or deli counter and get more knowledge. Well, it's a simple story and i'm a simple man. I'm just your Average Oracle for Rochester NY. If you wish to ask me a question just make the typical altar made of bones and offer the sacrifice. With the Avian flu going around it's best to stay away from chickens for now.
hmmm...you want to know more about me eh? well... not much to tell about me... I'm just a super human cybernetic mutant bred from the cream of the human crop, thanks to genetic engineering I have been able to get through the mental firewall placed in all humans brains by the great original designers who placed us on this planet so many years ago. I can heal by touch, see in the dark and gifted with amazing abilities to see into the past/present/future with amazing accuracy. by age Five I had figured out the cure for cancer, by age seven I realized that there is no money in the cure, by age nine I was bald and starting to realize that Lex Luthor wasn't too bad of a guy under the right light. During my last trip to the sahara desert I stumbled across an ancient egyptian artifact that allowed me to get all the women i want, sing with a voice of the purest of pitch, drink amazing amounts of liquor without needing to urinate, and makes me nie invulnerable from the suns harmful rays. I traded this artifact in NY city to a man for 4 magic beans, and when I threw the beans out the window they hit a cop, who arrested me for littering. In Jail I made friends with a chain gang of asian computer nerds with a hobby of drilling and mining and with their help I escaped my horrible 3 hour sentence and burrowed a hole deep in the earth. You think that is where my story ends... well NO i say NO. While we tunneled deep through the earth we accidentally, well some would say nothing is a mere accident, tapped into a vein of pure gold. The vein coursed across the planet and it was as large as a subway tunnel. It was ours.. all ours! While we began to dig this treasure out the leader of the asian gang stumbled across yet another vein of rare material, this one was silver... Shocked we began to search around more, finding veins of different things, each more unusual than the rest. Finally we hit something that left our minds boggled... It was a giant cave with a single man sitting in the middle of it. We approached him, and it turned out to be Regis Philbin. Shocked we asked him what he was doing here when he opened his mouth and a thousand little Elton John's ran out attacking us with harsh screams and small pitchforks. We ran around like a bunch of rabid weasels desperately trying to peel these miniature homosexuals off of our backs. When the sound of a million people saying "bizbang" suddenly hit our ears. Which was quite an unusual sound to hear being half way through the globe. It turned out that the gold and silver veins we had so luckily stumbled upon began arcing with the the energy from Tom Cruise and all the other Scientologists mentally trying to attack the catholic capital city "The Vatican". Lucky for us, the energy wilted away our attackers and caused Regis to run off to do another bad TV show. With that the gold melted like ice cream on the equator and caught me and my team in a river of pure money. We were washed out down a series of tunnels that looked like they had been created in a wet dream of Rob Zombies. Quickly we realized that we were being washed into Hell itself. Scrambling we managed to grab some of the roots of a underground tree named "the weird underground tree that grows underground" and with my back full of asian computer nerds I pulled against the flood of gold trying to whisk us away to satan himself. With all the strength I could I climbed up on a shelf and watched as our riches washed away towards the residents of hell. As we sat there whiping pure gold from our faces and laughing at what had happened I felt a tap on my shoulder. I spun to see the face of Simon from American Idol, the smug faced grimace spreading across his face like a snake on a warm road. I noticed something different about him and realized that he had horns, a tale, and a name tag that said "hello my name is Satan". I was shocked, but only a little. He then proceeded to tell us how he doesn't live in Hell, just a suburb of it, (where we found ourselves right then). He explained that the taxes are cheaper and the schools are much better. He offered to play me in a game of cards, the wager was my soul for the chance of ever going home. So, I said I would go to the bathroom and think about it first. He said that was fine. I told him that there were not any bathroom in the immediate vicinty. He was shocked by this bit of truth himself, since he wondered how he had not noticed this, and how he actually went to the bathroom. But, i said that the bathroom in my home was lovely and he would enjoy it most definitely. So, he agreed and we both went to my washroom at my house. After he finished and complemented me on my soft toilet paper he looked at me and asked if we had a deal. I declined his offer since we were already home. He cursed me for being so clever. And in a poof of smoke he vanished... As the dark prince disappated, I found myself standing alone in my home, and I was very tired, so I walked over to my computer signed onto it. I first thought of writing a lovely letter to the families of the Asian Computer Nerds that were left accidently behind to fend for themselves in hell. But, a shiny object and a banner ad offering me bigger breasts made me forget. Steering myself towards This very Site of Myspace, and I found myself here on this very page, forcibly made to describe my life and it's goings on. So, here I sit, right now, on this site searching out new friends and new civilizations. But, instead you found me, a twist of fate that you did not see coming, but thanks to my amazing super human ability I knew it would be.
And here we are now. That is my life so far.
If you really want to know about me then feel free to Message me!
