آرش متین

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I was reluctant to participant in the world of employment.
As my first job I was a dog walker. Until I ended up in the hospital, after walking Fefe. I came to two conclusions: Never, interrupt a dog during mating; Second, change careers immediately if I have any desire to father a child in the future.
This started a life-long pursuit for the perfect job.
I decided on a noble profession that would help save the planet. I became an assistant junior ranger with Great Falls National Park. Twenty-seven children enrolled for the "Observe the Earth" tour of the woods. The I woke up late and I never read any of the required educational material, so I had to wing it. I thought I did a great job, teaching kids the difference between the weed you smoke and the ones you remove and the mushrooms you eat and the ones you cook. I was later stripped of my brown shorts and hat and thrown out of the forest service.
I wanted to stay with the outdoor theme so I became a roofer. It was great pay and excellent benefits: drinking on the job, catch a tan and work around your own sched. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that sleeping on the job meant you would likely wake up in a bush or a hospital.
I came to my senses that this alfresco lifestyle needed to end. With very little ambition, but a strong desire not to starve to death, I turned my sights to an indoor profession.
I became a Recreational Therapist in a nursing home. I bought a shinny whistle and a muscle shirt and immediately choreographed a workout program.I didn't know Columbian Karate can cause heart attacks, strokes and bloody noses when you are over ninety.
I immediately hit the classified ads.
I answered an ad that nearly cost me my life. It read "Masseuse needed exclusive celebrity resort, no experience necessary, will train right person". I had a vision of super models with barely covered bottoms.The training was very detailed. "Throw some oil on and rub", instructed by one hundred year old guru.It went well, until they instructed me to take care of the client in room three.I opened the door and saw the hairiest 400 pound man I had ever seen; lying naked on the table.I introduced myself and asked him to take his thick wool sweater off, he assured me it was actually his hair. I knew at that moment this profession was not for me.
The next six months were very trying on me. The highlights are less than stellar.Ant Catcher, Forest Fire Lookout, Odor Judger, Chicken Sexer, Wrinkle Chaser, Ventriloquist, Ball Picker
After thirty-seven jobs in eighteen months I finally figured out my ideal career. It matched my requirements perfectly: it was indoors, it helped my fellow man, and it had water coolers in many locations.
Tomorrow I will start my dream job at the VIVID Porn Studio where I will be evaluating first time auditions. Isn't it great! What could possibly go wrong?