I can sing around anyone, if I am in my car. I'm extremely shy, which is funny [haha] because I never used to be. I live my life one day at a time. I love nature; the trees, the green grass, the brown earth. I love thinking, learning and growing. I am and am not an only child. I'm also a bastard. I grew up and still live in the country, though the nearest city is only 20 miles away. I have a very close relationship with my car, even though now it now functions much like a paperweight. I love to travel and observe. Music is the only thing that I can always feel emotion with, and writing is now, again, the only way to deal with said emotions. My paper journal gets the brunt of it, meanwhile I devote a great deal of time to my Xanga, which is my purifying release of tension. This seems to be a happier place that is more open for the world to see. Change is good? or so I'm told. I am glad for the fact that at least one person shares my idea of an optimal friday night is sitting at home, alone, in the dark. I'm not a vampire, though I may bite if you get too close. I'm great at building walls. I use AIM if you'd like to chat. Love is suicide, and darkness is my friend. I'm not too keen on the whole moderation concept. I like to work out, but I am too lazy to do so. Hey fuck it! I'm just the writer. See what a little harmony can do?
I'm not just made out of velveteen. I don't dance because my brain usually operates in three/four time. I walk in love. I may like to hide behind my mental illness just a little bit. I'm just a kindhearted soul that's spent a lot of time working on herself. I've met a lot of great people online. Nothing wrong with a little booze now and then, it sometimes gets me talking. I often feel like an ass. I'll always listen to what you've got to say. We are everyone that we've been. I've become very quiet. I try to appreciate beauty in all forms because it is all around us at all times. Look, see, be. Live, breathe, laugh, love. Smile when you can, and when you want to, and when you don't want to. Count on a half smirk or a toothy grin, both are the way of my smile. I like to teach people to love themselves even though it is something I am still working on, and the most important thing anyone ever tried to teach me. Silver linings shine bright here.
I really love my job working with horses and thrive around their energy. I hug and kiss them every day and they love me back. It's so cool to be working with animals instead of people, because the only horseshit I have to deal with at work is actually horse shit. I get to play with and take care of them and spend time outdoors. I work with a good crew and we all love animals. We have four barn cats and they like to lay both in the sun and underneath cars. We're out in the country so nature surrounds us, crows, european swallows and killdeer like to hang out and we have a friendly neighborhood hawk to patrol our skies. I like that much better than the hellicopters. Deer wander through. Things are quiet, you can hear yourself think and all the sounds of horses bring a smile to my face. I spend most holidays with them and haven't been doing much else since my car died, though I should be on the road again soon! The barn helps my brain and it's one of my safe places, and I go there when I have a bad day and the horses make everything all better. It's very cool, somehow I came to be exactly where I want to be doing exactly what I want to do, so everything else should fall into place. We shall see.