The Three Roomies

I'd like to meet:

Whatever you give is yours for good. What you keep is lost forever.

*You probably won't find these funny unless...well...unless you're us*

Ashley: I am going to color my head.

Connie: I can’t focus on writing this stupid paper.
Shameem: Aww, it’s okay!
Ashley: Don’t worry, Nini!
Connie: Well, actually I’m done. I don’t know why I just said that.

Shameem: It was because he was mad right?
Ashley: Yeah, because...
Shameem: RIGHT?
Ashley: Uhhh...

Ashley: god all of Barry Dio's statuses are like, "the Lord this" and "the Lord that"
Shameem: god's facebook status is probably like, "OMFG WHY DID I CREATE BARRY DIO."

Connie: maybe you can scare him away..
Ashley: "i am going to marry you and have lots of babies and a big fat mortgage"

Ashley: things not to do on a date, number 7: when asked the question, "so what do you do at the pentagon?" respond smugly, "defend America. like what you see around you? you're welcome."

Ashley: I hate it in the satisfaction questionnaire when it asks “were you happy with your images” and the answer choices are limited to “yes” and “no.” They need to include “WTF?!?!??!”

Connie: I think it’s pretty when coats are lined with fur.
Ashley: Yeah, me too…but it’s not real on mine. It wouldn’t be good if it were real fur.
Shameem: Yeah, it’s not good when it’s real fur.
Connie: Yeah, if it were real fur, that probably would not be good.
Shameem: Wow...did we just repeat ourselves like three times?

Shameem: I still don’t understand how guys can go their entire lives without shaving their armpit hair once. It just keeps growing their entire lives!!

Ashley: Has anyone ever told you that you look like a cat?
Connie: No, but they have told me that I look like a parakeet.

[studying for her physiology exam]
Shameem:WahIdon’tknowwhytheselevelsarelowIjustwanttodieit’snotfa irwahhhhhhh.

Connie: I don’t know what people are talking about...guys and girls can definitely sleep
in the same bed without it being sexual.
Ashley: I know! Seriously...I mean, when my guy cousin and I were younger, we used to sleep in the same bed and it didn’t mean anything. Wait, I mean...uh...yeeeeeeah.

[outside locked apartment door]
Ashley: I have my keys.
Connie: I have my keys too!
Shameem: I don't have my keys...
Ashley: I have my keys. I HAVE MY KEYS!! I have my keys.
Shameem and Connie:.....

Shameem: I WISH WE COULD GO SHOPPING!!
Ashley: I WISH WE DIDN'T HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW!!
Connie: I wish we were fairy princesses...

Ashley: Yeeeeahhh. Sometimes I just wash my face and reapply my make-up as a substitute for a shower.
Shameem: That's what I do too!
Ashley: Oh good!
Shameem: Except sometimes minus the reapplying the make-up part...and minus the washing my face part.

Connie: Have you ever heard of 'Second Life'?
Shameem: No, what is it?
Connie: It's this online thing, where you can make another version of yourself and then do whatever you want. I downloaded it today, but I don't really like it that much.......oh, and it doesn't work.

Ashley: Hahahahaha, I wanna put that in my away! Not the pee..

Ashley: AAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHH!
Shameem: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Connie: What if after you got married, you were arguing with your husband and suddenly you were just like RRRROOOOOAAAAARRRRRR!

Ashley: I'm gonna eat oatmeal. Yeaaaah, that's right.
Shameem: Food is the only thing we have control over. We eat it and it can't do anything about it! HAH!
Ashley: Yea!! I'm gonna eat you. Whatcha gonna do about it? And you can't be 3 hours late.
Shameem: Hahahahahaha.
Ashley: That made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Shameem: Sooo? If the food tastes bad, we can just throw it away, and it can't do ANYTHING about it!
Ashley: YEAAAH! If I don't like you, and I don't like what you're doing inside my mouth, I'm just gonna...
[Shameem falls on floor laughing]
Ashley: Wow. How did that end up coming out that way?

Ashley: Is she pretty?
Connie: I think she's pretty, but Meems thinks she looks ill.
Shameem: Yeeeeah. It looks like he took a picture of her after she puked or something.

Shameem: EEE! I love your top!
Ashley: Aww thank you!
Connie: I like it, too! Wait, what are those called again?
Ashley: Ummm...it starts with a "P"...I wanna say, "llama," but that is definitely not it.
Shameem: HAHA, because llama definitely starts with a "P"...
Ashley: Well, you know what I mean. I mean don't you think it makes me look like a llama??

Connie: AHHHH!!! What part of LEAVE ME ALONE does he not understand!?!?!?
Shameem: ...the "leave me alone" part!
Ashley: Hahahahahahahaha!

Shameem: I have to go to CVS. Do you need anything?
Ashley: Nah, I'm good. [pause] OH! Get me some boxing gloves.
Shameem: To punch boys!
Ashley: Yes! Fat and ugly ones!

Shameem: Have you guys ever heard the song Soulja Boy?
Ashley and Connie: Yeah.
Shameem: Do you guys know what it's about?
Ashley: Isn't it about dancing?
Connie: I thought it was about a water gun fight.
Shameem: Uh...no.

Ashley: [in reference to Ugly Dolls] These things are so ugly.
Connie: Who would want something this ugly?
Shameem: Boys are ugly and people still want them!!

Connie: He sent you a song about a one night stand???
Ashley: Yeah, he always said he just liked the way it sounded, but then he would send me songs that were about things he didn’t like about me.
Connie: Wait, like what? “I’m so emotional and hormonal.” How can they even make a song to that?
Shameem: Hahahahahahaha.

[all studying in Connie’s room]
Connie: I wonder how long we can go without talking to each other.
Ashley: Apparently not very long...
Shameem: Hahahahahahahaha.

Connie: Guys, what if we all had the same dream one night and met in it?
Shameem: Yeaaa! That'd be so cooool...
Ashley: Awww yeaaaa...actually...it'd be sort of like real life...

Ashley: I love Johnny Depp!!
Connie: Oh my goodness!! Johnny Depp is perfect. The only problem is that he is shorter than me.
Shameem: Oh really? How tall is he?
Connie: Like 5’8.
Ashley: Wait, are you taller than 5’8?
Connie: No.

Connie: [imitating Team America] I’m going to put a jihad on you.
Ashley: Uh...Nini? I think it’s “I’m going to PULL a jihad on you.” I tried to let it pass every time you said it before, but I just thought you should know...
Connie: Oh my goodness!! I’m so embarrassed!!
Ashley: Hahaha. I knew you would be!

Connie: Vikram told me once that guys can get horny just by looking at a hole in the ground.
Shameem: Really??? That’s so weird!!
Ashley: Yeah, that is really strange. I mean, we don’t get erections looking at...wait...wait...I mean...

Shameem: Guys, I keep thinking about myself as a 2-year-old waddling out of my room and whining about something...but then I realize that the only difference between that and right now is that I'd be like 10 feet shorter.

Ashley: We're sooooooooooo awkward!!!

Connie: Kiwi fruit reminds me of fuzzy baby heads.

Shameem: Now you're supinating! Now you're pronating! Supinating! Pronating! Supinating! Pronating!

Ashley: Guys...I just found out that I have a Myspace account. I don't remember ever creating it. I only have one friend, and I don't even know who he is.

Connie: Do you guys remember the Barney Bag?? I always thought he would pull something really cool out of the bag, but it was always like paper and scissors...

Ashley: So we were all singing...and there was a retard, and Chris goes...”LOOK AT THE RETARD!”
Shameem: You should have been like, "WE ARE LOOKING AT HIM!"

Connie: Do you find Elvis attractive?
Ashley: NO.
Connie: No? Really? Hmm.
Ashley: He's like rotting somewhere. I'm not attracted to dead people.

Ashley: Did you and Meems try to make a baby together?
Connie: No.
Ashley: Oh.

Shameem: Omg...did you just hear that? What was that?
Connie: Uhh...didn’t you just whistle??
Shameem: Oh.

Shameem: I want a Great Dane! I feel like I don't want to get married. I just want a Great Dane...and like that will be enough time, responsibility, and happiness!

Ashley: If you were Fiji, I would love Fiji.
Connie: I am Fiji.
Ashee: I love Fiji.

Connie: Here, give me your phone.
Ashee: Hahaha...to save me from myself?
Connie: Yes. You take my phone and I'll take your phone. That way....we can switch if we need to.

Connie: Good morning light of my life!
Ashley: Hello firefly to my lagoon!
Connie: Lol...in the previous message I almost called you fire of my loins.
Ashley: HAHAHAHA!
Connie: Seed of my groin...
Ashley: HAHAHA!!
Connie: I am actually a man and you are the product of my passion.
Ashley: HAHAHAHA!!
Connie: Ok, I going to stop. I am freaking myself out.

Ashley: What if I suddenly revealed to you that every morning for the past 2 years, I had woken up long before you and pasted a different face onto my face so you thought I looked like a different person?
Connie: ...
Ashley: What if under my mask i actually looked like BRENDEN FRASER??
Connie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Connie: Wow Ashee, I love the song "Better In Time."
Ashley: Me too!!
Connie: I just want to fall back into a bed of rose petals when the song plays.
Ashley: Yes.. and stare at the camera with an expression that is a mixture of deep pain and unshakeable resolve
Connie: HAHAHA!!

Connie: "Please back away and let me go...I can't my darling I love you so...oh, oh!"
Ashley: "You've got a lure I can't deny, but you've had your chance so say goodbye, say goodbye.."
Connie: Is it a lure or allure?
Ashley: OH...HAHA...he's going fishing!
Connie: HAHAHA!
Ashley: He has an earthworm...
Connie: HAHAHA!
Ashley: AKA a penis

Shameem A sad thing happened.
Ashley: What..?
Shameem: Yesterday this girl who lives across the hall from me came into my room to see what a single looked like..
Ashley: Aww...
Shameem: And she introduced herself. And her name was Ashley.
Ashley: Aww!!!
Shameem: And in my head, I was like......no.

[After talking for hours about random things]
Shameem: Alright, Nini. I think I am going to go get some work done.
Connie: Aww...okay Meems!!
[5 minutes later]
*Meems is fast asleep on Nini's bed*

Shameem: If you guys want any more smoothie, just yell!
Ashley: Okay thanks! ...AHHH!!

Ashley: Guys, can you guys ever ever ever imagine us ever being in a fight ever?
Connie and Shameem: No.

Ashley: Oh wow, this place has three stories?
Connie: Yea, but the third story is all Dick's.
Shameem: So all guys are on the third floor!

Ashley: (about Edward Cullen) God, it's when he smiles like that when I want to like..
Connie: Jump him?
Ashley: ...well.. I was going to say "jump off a cliff" but that probably makes more sense...

Shameem: Did he put more air in your tire?
Ashley: No, and I didn't know what I was talking about, I probably sounded so dumb!
Shameem: You should have asked him to take some of the air out of your head and put it into your tire!

(adventures on iminlikewithyou.com)
Shameem: dog
Connie: horse
Shameem: doghouse
Connie: roof
Connie: house
Shameem: epic fail
Ashley: hahaha mims??? epic fail???

Shameem: siiighh guys after this one I should go eat a late dinner :(
Ashley and Connie: okies!!!
(10 minutes later)
Connie: group
Shameem: us
Connie: happiness
Shameem: I love you
Shameem: roomie love
Ashley: Michael F’ing Jackson! You got it.

Shameem: my dad heard me like dying of laughter last night while we were playing games
Shameem: and he came in and was watching for a bit, and was like
Shameem: omg... is this what you do all the time..
Shameem: and i was like, LOL no i just found out about it.
Shameem: but it will be what i do all the time.

Shameem: wow this is depressing but really good..
Connie: OH!!! i'm sorry, maybe i shouldn't have sent it
Shameem: LOL no its okay
Connie: do you want the whole movie???
Connie: LOL!!!! wow I am like
Connie: "wow...sorry to depress you...want to be depressed more?"

Shameem: its also funny that on this huge planet, with billions of people, we find exactly the wrong ones :P

Connie: i look like a sly weasel in it
Shameem: NO!! that look is really seductive
Shameem: it says "the guy next to me sucks........so i will just lure someone else to me with my hotness"

Connie: i think the real Edward in real life falls for people he stars with :-(
Ashley: haha i probably would too =P
Connie: i think he has a crush on Kristen but she has a bf :-(
Ashley: awwwwwwwww that sucks for him...
Connie: yeah
Ashley: it's okay though!! i don't have a bf sooooooo...

Shameem: his is abnormally small. It’s like it didnt grow
Connie: HAHAHAHAH

Shameem: i am at home
Ashley: awwww... =(
Shameem: NO i lied. i am….in memphis
Ashley: haha!! yes of course!
Ashley: sooo was that you coming up the stairs?
Shameem: yes.

Connie: but it is most likely i am going to Case
Connie: SO I WILL BE VISITING
Connie: AND VISITING
Connie: AND VISITING
Connie: your parents are prob going to be like
Connie: wow...that connie needs to stop visiting

Connie: HEHAHAHAHAHA I AM SO EXCITED!!!!
Shameem: LOLOL you typed
Shameem: HEHAHAHA
Shameem: SAY THAT OUT LOUD
Shameem: LOLOL
Shameem: HAHAA IT SOUNDS LIKE A DONKEY

Shameem: i was about to say, “yea then everyone will hate us”
Shameem: and then i was like, “wait but i don't care….” LOL
Ashley: hahaha!! i love our thought process =P
Shameem: hehehe me too
Ashley: i say "our thought process" because
Ashley: there are three of us
Ashley: and only one thought process

Connie: I think I am too cold to go to the store with mommy! I think perhaps i will go shave my legs!! ...Wow, sorry, that was random.
Shameem: If you are too cold, you shouldnt shave! It is the only fur we have to keep us warm!

Sambs: we are watching jurassic park. we went to fro gro and naked the place
Ashley: ?? is that a strip joint??
Shameem: LOLOLOL she means naked chocolate

Connie: yea… why can't we just bitch about people and NOT miss them?!??!?!?
Ashley: hahahah.. because we only care enough about the people we miss to bitch about how much we're hurt by losing them =P
Connie: that is so true!! :-D
Connie: and that is why instead of bitching
Connie: i am going to try to find my Yanni CD!!

Shameem: "incompatible....it dont matter though"
Shameem: actually yea…that does sort of matter.
Connie: AHAHHAHHAHHA

Connie: i am trying to upload a pic but it is taking sooooo long :-(
Ashley: hehehehe into the twilight one??
Connie: HOW DID YOU KNOW???
Ashley: because you just said “OMGOMGOMG TWILIGHT!!!!!”

Connie: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3002701056/nm1500155
Ashley: oh my god. why is he so effing hot….and not in my bedroom right now.

Connie: what if you never find someone while you're young..? you'd be like... a widow....
Ashley: ..you mean a spinster?

Ashley: i REALLY wish i could teleport..
Connie: wow, can you believe that in the future when teleportation is like the best way...to travel.....wait, that sentence makes no sense.

Connie: hello....little girl.
Ashley: HELLAAAO
Connie: SILENCE OF THE LAMBS IS WHEN FARMER JOE GOES OUT TO THE BARN.
Ashley: .......what?

Ashley: ^___________________________________________________^
Ashley: whoa....ew
Connie: AHAHHAHAHAHHA TOAD MAN

Connie: it's so sweeet when like a boy and girl hug each other
Ashley: ;_; i know...
Connie: i get all warm and fuzzy looking at it
Ashley: AWWW
Connie: but then i think in real life that if that happened, the boy's boner prob ruins all the romance
Ashley:HAHAHAHAHAa

Ashley: hello my darling
Connie: HELLO THE ONLY EYE IN MY LIFE!!!
Ashley: HEHE YOU ARE A CYCLOPS
Connie: HAHAHHA if i were talking to meems right now i would have two eyes!!!

Ashley: HIIIIIEEE
Connie: hello! :-)
Ashley: HIEHIEHIEHIHEIEHE
Connie: meems is not here yet :-(
Ashley: oh

Shameem IT WAS SO AMAZING
Connie: OMG~!!!!
Shameem: I AM SAYING ALL THIS OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW
Ashley: HAAAHA AWWWw
Shameem: AND YELLING IT

Ashley: oh i wrote it down in my i-....my i.....
Connie: iPod?
Shameem: iPhone?
Ashley: iRack?
Shameem: iHateYou??

Ashley: guys... i tried to back out of the garage when my back door was still open.. it went crunch..
Shameem: oh no! i'm sorry ashee!
Ashley: yahh.. and now it won't close..
Connie: (half asleep) that's soo weird.. usually cars are so good about shutting when you close them...

Ashley: hah look it's Hutchison Elementary School..
Connie: oh what was you guys's slogo?
Shameem: ...slogo?
Ashley: i think you got logo and slogan mixed up..?

Ashley: look guys! that fountain looks like a penis!
Shameem: a really happy penis!!

Connie: why do i have sand in my hair...
Ashley: cause you were just at the beach..?

Ashley: i'm sorry guys i'm just like being really negative today..
Shameem: just tell us what you're thinking and we'll tell you it's not true!
Connie: you can throw a pillow at me..

Connie: guys... i am so glad we're not dinosaurs... like we could have just been dinosaurs or like single-celled organisms..

Ashley: can someone take my phone?
Shameem: i'll take it! i'll take the ring to Mordor.

Ashley: wow mims, guys must think your quoting family guy is so like hot
Shameem: wow that would be sad if the hottest thing about me is that i remind guys of peter griffin

Connie: i love cheese. i love its stinky texture.

Ashley: our faces printed the same size!!
Shameem: yay!! same size faces!! ...wow that sounded too much like 'YAY!! SAME SIZE FECES!!!'

Connie: I am afraid that my worst side, I'm going to treat towards my husband.
Shameem and Ashley: ......that sentence didn't make any sense.....

Connie: I feel like I have a good memory, but I like...forget things really quickly...
Shameem: Then how do you have a good memory?

Ashley: wow i don't know why i am singing that song.
Connie: by that girl who is younger than us..
Shameem: wow younger than us??
Ashley: she's like five.

Connie: guys i love how we're all so naive about stuff..
Shameem: yea except for the fact that every joke on this trip has been about Badcock and more.

Ashley: Kissing food osmosis!!

Ashley: yeah, everytime i take a long road trip, i bring tons of books to read...but then i just end up staring out the window listening to music the whole time...and then i get emo.

Connie: oh! mims, are you taking a video?
Shameem: yes!
Connie: oh! ....can i be in the video?
Shameem: you can step in the screen, and then you will be in the video!
Connie: okies!! ...wow can we start over so i'm not asking to be in the video?

Shameem: oh my god, is that another Badcock & more?
Ashley: yes!! except this one is smaller!
Shameem: this is a smaller Badcock!!

Shameem: hoo. ray!
Ashley: wow that is so cute, who says hooray like that?
Shameem: i do!

Connie: (humming) wow ashee, nice instrumentals!
Ashley: thanks!!...wait, wasn't that you?
Connie: .....oh.

Connie: (while riding to the airport) OH MY GOD i am going to miss you guys SO MUCH!!
Ashley: I KNOW i am too!!! ....except i am going to miss you guys, instead of myself.
Connie: you....me.... mims... us........ same things.

Connie: This smells like a mummy.
Shameem: Do you smell mummies often?

Shameem: “three little birds” came on, and the entire time we were messing around, i was smiling because i was thinking about you guys….HAHA I AM SO AWKWARD

Ashley: i got this email in my school mail asking for yearbook pics of student life, and the first thing i thought was OMG!!! i have so many pics from rosemary beach!!!! then i realized they were all pictures of us, and i had an image of the entire hutchison yearbook being filled with pictures of the three roomies. and then i started laughing and spit out my cappuccino everywhere.

Connie: wow..i can be a bitch though
Shameem: no you are never a bitch! a bitch is someone who is mean when it is not warranted. you are only mean when it is warranted, which is not bitchy, it is intelligent. and required. and necessary for earth to continue to sustain life.

Ashley: well if he “still has it,” i think he must be referring to his innate ability to annoy the crap out of Ashley.

Connie: ASHEE WHY THE F*** AM I ALLERGIC TO CATS
Ashley: aw.. =( maybe it will go away!
Connie: like my mango allergy!!! i got rid of my mango allergy by eating more mangos in small doses!!
Ashley: so maybe if you eat more cats, your cat allergy will go away! =D

Ashley: what do you want to do tonight love?
Connie: oh! we can do whatever we want.. maybe we can go to blockbuster and get some more movies.. or we can go shopping like for ice cream and stuff..

Connie: oh wait what was that one last night..
Ashley: shoot i don't remember.. do you remember? when we were like laughing and then we were like "myspace!"..
Connie: yea...i feel like we're always like "wait what was that one where we were laughing..."

Ashley: wow this cake is so good..
Connie: yea! it hasn't really thawed so it's still sort of hard..
Ashley: oh that's okay! i like it. i like it harder....... wait....

Connie: airbags can actually be really dangerous.. if you're about to be in an accident, you're supposed to exhale so it doesn't make your lungs collapse..
Ashley: aughh!! gross, i hate that.. i just really don't like bodies in general..
Connie: yea, i just can't stand dead bodies...wait, no, that's not true.. i've actually never seen an actual dead body.... wait, no, that's not true either.. wow nothing nothing i'm saying is actually true.

Connie: oh love, do they have bathrooms at six flags?
Ashley: i think so!
Connie: okay, then i won't bring my camera..... ....wait, wait that made no sense. why did i just say that?

Connie: look they have ugly dolls!
Ashley: awww! ..they're so ugly, why would anyone want them?
Connie: hehe.. boys are ugly and people still want them....wow i love how we have all our quotes memorized.

Connie: it's sad..because most of my friends are guys. so i will go from 20 friends to 2: meems and ashee!! ...well..you guys are family. so 0 friends.
Shameem: but we are everything rolled into one!! SISTERS...FRIENDS....AND HUSBANDS!!

Connie: i was thinking today on the train, like how much i like love you and ashee...and like.. that love is deep. it is so deep that i had to say to myself, "wow..that is freakin deep."

Shameem: he seemed more like, outgoing when he was in high school... from his pics..
Connie: I KNOW!!!! like so much more social, and not wearing like that jacket that looks like a dead lamb.

Connie: i have to go walk my doggy really quickly so she poops
Shameem: okies!!!
Connie: and then i have to pick up the poop, one by one.

Connie: i feel like the shit has hit the fan.
Ashley: no kidding. there is shit all over EVERYthing.

Connie: we can start out with the water rides...which is just one little drop
Ashley: haha.. drop from a height? or drop of water?
Connie: AHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHA
Ashley: just one little drop! (splash!)
Connie: a tiny one...*plup* !!

Connie: i hate beards...
Ashley: ohh yea.. me too, i still haven't had beer much... i actually went with bevan and hess to bosco's the other night, it's like this brewerie in memphis, and they have these sampler things with like little mini beers.. and i actually sort of liked one of them! even though i don't usually..
Connie: ...ohhh yea.....the darker ones actually taste better to me...
Ashley: ohhh really?
Connie: yea..........but i was actually commenting on their beards.
Ashley: ......oh.

Connie: *signs on* HI LOVE!!!!!
Ashley: haaai!! oh love i have to email them to you, adium won't send files..
Connie: oh. well, then. *signs off.*
Both: AHAHHHAHAHAHA

Connie: wow, sometimes i just want to like break down and cry my eyes out like that.
Ashley: yea, me too.....actually, sometimes i do =P

Connie: oh, bittersweet endings are the best...
Ashley: yea, me too...
Connie: HAAHAHA..
Ashley: hm..??

Connie: love, when you get married someday, what do you want to do for your bridal shower?
Ashley: .....I don't know, but if I'm ever in a vegetable state, just pull the plug on me.
Connie: ...........what?

Ashley: I can't wait until we're all in St. Louis together again!
Connie: yes! we can go to the Summer House.. it was in that book, Banging St. Louis... or Banging Girls in St. Louis...
Ashley: ...what??
Connie: wait what was that cute travel guide called?
Ashley: ....Girlfriends on the Go???

Connie: did you get my message about the orgasming girl on your wall?
Shameem: i saw that you wrote "it looks like someone is having an orgasm on your wall," but when i checked my wall, the first thing on there was ashee's post saying "NOOOOOOOOO"
Connie: AHAHAHAHAHAA
Shameem: and i was like, maybe that is nini's idea of an orgasm...

Connie: isn't she like 4?
Shameem: yeah, she's 15.

Shameem: okay when we go, you have to get one, and i'll get cinnamon bun ice cream
Connie: priyadarshani
Shameem: hmm?

Connie: i keep thinking of the song Come Out of the Shade and listening to it and thinking about him coming out from behind a big tree
Shameem: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Connie: and giving you a mormon smile
Shameem: AHAHA
Connie: "hey shameem...want to have 16 kids with me?"
Shameem: "and is it okay if i have 5 other wives?"

Shameem: Should i comment on one of his pics?
Connie: YES
Shameem: What should I say?
Connie: "awww"
Shameem: is aww not enough of a compliment
Connie: then what about "cute"?
Shameem: ooh okay...
Connie: "HANDSOME MOTHERFUCKER"

Ashley: omg i LOVE THAT QUOTE!!! NUUUUUUUUU
Connie: THAT WAS SO FUNNY
Ashley: IT IS SO FUNNY NOW

Ashley: wow this bumper sticker is so weird. like it's in the same style and font that most of the really cute ones are in... so it's like "awwww look another cute bumper sticker about love and friendship!!" but then you read it and you're like wow, this is just really fucking creepy.

Connie: HI LOVE!!!
Ashee(Autoreply): love knows what to say..
Connie: yes...i know what to say.
Connie: and that is, you are a sexy vixen.

Ashley: so if i am nice, she acts like i'm bothering her. when i give up, she acts neglected.. -_-
Connie: wow.. she's like her own vortex... of misery =(
Ashley: SHE MOVES HER BODY LIKE A CYCLONE
Connie: HAHAHA.. omg that song, how do you have sex with someone who is moving like a cyclone???

Connie: omg... love. that dream i had when you were angry at me, i was like so depressed. like in the dream i remember thinking like...'wow...what is the point to this world.'
Ashley: that could never happen. you could give me the dirtiest looks and throw bowling balls at me and dump tar on my head and i'd still be like HI HI I LOVE YOU HI!!!!!

Shameem: awww yea, it is sad when things are over..
Ashley: when it's over, that's the time i fall in love again... and when you go, go, go, go..
Shameem: i know....it never ends...
Ashley: it never ends-ALL Tthhee things that i ase;iu tbaoen tlkemnrt a

Connie: i saw star trek with the kids! i liked Spock with the pointy ears..
Ashley: aw! yea faunne is obsessed with star trek- OH DEAR GOD NO
Connie: ?!?!?
Ashley: NO THE MOCKINGBIRD IS SINGING

Ashley: obama is going to speak at notre dame!!
Connie: OMG! are you going to go see him!?
Ashley: OMG no

Ashley: i am talking to jeremy, and he's like, "you have a typing retardation. very slow responses." and i said, "ahahaha sorry ^^ i'm talking to nini and she's leaving for space tomorrow" ...i meant to say "spain"

Ashley: i asked if it was mostly american students at his school in japan, and he said no, everyone was japanese... and i was thinking... so you're telling me, that you were a tall, built, FINE black guy, growing up in a school full of tiny japanese people.........you can put the ring on this finger right here.

Shameem: i am always like, "LOVE YOUUU EVEN THOUGH YOU DO NOTHINGG <33333"
Ashley: HAHAAH
Shameem: i need to stop that.
Ashley: yes. yes we both do.
Ashley: "i love you even though you would shoot me in the face if you had the chance!! ^^ <3<3"

Shameem: wow. we have funny lives.
Ashley: yea, right?
Shameem: and by funny i mean sometimes not so funny. but also funny.

Shameem: wow we are as funny as family guy i think.
Ashley: we totally are, we could have a show called..
Shameem: roomie guy
Ashley: AHAHAHAHAH
Shameem: okay, that makes no sense.

Shameem: i just said, "OMGMGaw ptinaw taw," out loud. and it was funny
Ashley: AHAHAHAHHAHAHHW
Shameem: LOL WOW
Ashley: it sounds like a native american rap song
Shameem: it makes me feel like putting on a headdress and dancing around a fire, like PTINAW TAW
Ashley: it can be the roomie dance
Shameem: and the dance could be the intro to roomie guy

Ashley: omg nini said the funniest thing.. okay so there is this lady in the guild named moon, and her bf on there is named dark, and we were talking about the quote about "NUUUUUUU"... i mean nini and i were, moon and dark were there, haha... and um... okay this explanation is getting too long. it's not going to be funny by the time i get done explaining it.
Shameem: HHAAHAA that just made it funny

Connie: anyone but you guys!! i could stay in a room with you guys forever. it sort of makes me nervous about marriage…
Ashley: AHAHAH
Connie: one day I’ll just be like, "PLEASE. COULD YOU JUST..PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME?"
Ashley: hahaha!! "i am sorry. i am leaving you for my roomies. i can no longer tolerate your presence. everything about you has become truly insufferable to me."
Connie: AHAHAHA I LOVE THAT

Ashley: wow I really need to save moneys…
Connie: oh yes!! we can get groceries and cook ourselves!! to save moneys!!
Ashley: COOK OURSELVES.

Connie: !OH!!
Ashley: HAHA. ¡OH! ¡habla espagnol!
Connie: LOL
Ashley: haha that probably doesn't mean anything

Ashley: wait i have to think faster. i'm like, thinking too fast, and then i'm ending up not being funny.

Shameem: why is it “evildoers” and “do-gooders”? why isn't it “good-doers” and “do-evillers”?

Shameem: it was also funny when you left out the “with him” part because it was just like oh yea i promised him i’d get ice cream. and i pictured you being like hi. i ate ice cream.

Shameem: I can't even imagine anyone liking him.
Ashley: Oh my Gosh, I know! Really? ..wait, what?

Shameem: oh my god ashee, you have to read this when you're done with that. holy fuck.
Ashley: okay!!! hahaha holy fuck?? what would that look like.

Connie: are you still talking to him??
Ashley: haha nope.. he was like, "you listen to really sappy music don't you?" and i was like, "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LITTLE SHIT, FUCK YOU"......well actually i was more just like, ":P"

Ashley: but i am surrounded by such loving wonderful people!! like you!! <3
Connie: hehe yes! :D i will always be surrounding you! even when i am not there, my spirit will be there! surrounding and hoarding over you! creepily stalking you.

Connie: i can't wait til you come!!! HAHAHA wow it sounds like i'm talking about an orgasm.
Ashley: my heart orgasms when i talk to you guys.