Karma Slave profile picture

Karma Slave

I am here for Friends

About Me

Like others, I jokingly suggested to a friend that he write my profile for me. What I got back was a 273 page dissertation complete with charts, spreadsheets, eye-witness accounts, video clips and polygraph results. Most of this work will be published in various academic journals on topics as varied as Ethno-Botany, Classical Architecture, Quantum Epistemology, and the AMA, along with US Weekly, Cook’s Illustrated, Penthouse Letters and Highlights. All of which is astounding considering his only bibliography consisted of a volumes E-Q of a 1973 Encyclopedia Britannica and the liner notes to Molly Hatchet’s Flirtin’ with Disaster. Excerpts follow.
“…[H]is habit of invading pantries, throwing together random bits of foodstuff and calling it dinner has repeatedly enflamed the established culinary world, prompting cease and desist orders from the Culinary Institute of America, a threat by Food Network to pull it’s programming in his cable market and a death threat (allegedly) from Jacques Torres. Alton Brown spent an entire episode pleading with him to forego cooking and eat only Krystals. Yet, his dinner guests have often been his biggest supporters, in what many psychologists can only assume is an effect much like the Stockholm Syndrome…”
“…the question of how it is that his two children have managed to grow up relatively normal has spawned what will no doubt be an entirely new branch of child psychology…”
“…[D]ue to his former occupation as a clerk at a used bookstore (perhaps his only respectable occupation to date), his library can only be described as eclectic bordering on manic chaos. Texts in dead languages share space with “Tween” novels and various apocrypha of history, philosophy and comics…”
“…his habit of quoting song lyrics to almost any occasion seems to be genetic as it is a trait shared by both his mother and sister, however, in recent years this “talent” as he calls it has been focuses in an almost obsessive way on a Nashville based band named The Floating Men, which he describes as ‘The Best Damned Rock and Roll Band Ever!’ Debates on this topic have lasted long into the night resulting in restraining orders issued in 3 states and one foreign country (sources suggest that the U.N. intervened in his defense after listening to “Smoking in the Grocery Line”)…”
…after consulting with various political science authorities, it was unanimously decided that politically he can best be described as a “Yellow Dog Machiavellian”, although these authorities admit they themselves have no idea what this means. Given the current Administration, he is expected to be labeled an Enemy of the State at any time…”
The rest of the text is either copyrighted, tied up in legal dramas or is still to be declassified by Bangladesh. All-in-all, though, I think he painted a fairly accurate picture of me.
Find your Match at JustSayHi 82% Geek
Which Member of the Endless Are You?I Am

Which tarot card are you?
You are a
Social Liberal
(78% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(20% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist
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Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Heroes, Felons and Fiends. It is certainly not the daughter of the devil himself, nor an angel in white. No, no, no.

My Blog

I'm not sure what to do.

She lied and it caused at least one person to stop being my friend, I got confirmation of it today from that person.  She told bald faced lies about me, said things I never did, things I told her spec...
Posted by on Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:06:00 GMT

A singularity of negativity. Well, almost.

I'm not that guy, I'm not the person she made me out to be, I never have been, it's always just been some negative impression she's created: take the things she doesn't like and then blow them out of ...
Posted by on Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:25:00 GMT

One simple line

Come and find me once you've found yourself and made up your mind.
Posted by on Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:14:00 GMT

I know you're in there somewhere

Go hereThe Floating Men siteClick albumsBuy everything. EVERYTHING! But most especially, but Swimming with the Gods.  And No Clocks, No Calendars. Then, buy everything else.  Let the aural sexiness be...
Posted by on Fri, 28 Aug 2009 07:44:00 GMT

Bwahahaha

So, I updated my Facebook status yesterday to read: New Gameboy DS: $130. New rear window: $160. The chance to beat the shit out of the motherfucker that broke into my car: priceless. Think masterca...
Posted by on Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:46:00 GMT

I don't know why.

Sometimes I look behind the curtain, peer into that place that I'm not supposed to tread.  And every time I do, I am completely amazed at the level of bullshit I find there, the completely mindbogglin...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:40:00 GMT

When will technology finally catch up to philosophy?

Nietzsche reportedly said "beware of ideas born indoors", although I can't track down the exact source right now.  Even if David Jacobs lied to me and Nietzsche didn't say it, it's still something I b...
Posted by on Tue, 19 May 2009 11:46:00 GMT

They say you have to get mad to get over it.

I'm well beyond mad.  Livid is a distant memory.  Is there some point beyond furious?  Yeah, I don't think google maps can find me in the landscape of anger I'm travelling now.  And boy am I over it.
Posted by on Wed, 13 May 2009 10:50:00 GMT

benny benassi's tribute to old school porn. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__T5mp_mtog Like a good dj isn't already sexy.
Posted by on Wed, 22 Apr 2009 10:15:00 GMT

I don't know why this makes me so happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw
Posted by on Thu, 09 Apr 2009 07:23:00 GMT