Grubby

The early years… Grubby was born with 8 tiny arms and a huge swollen body. He was raised as a spider by a family of midgets. He was the first (and last) baby on Earth to be born weighing more than his mother. After the notorious “shredder incident”, his family finally realised that he was, in fact, a human boy.By the age of 25 he had learned to say over 16 words (despite an artificial tongue and saggy vocal chords), and was curious to learn all about the terrifying noises that he would hear in his head. He yearned for a musical education, and in 1959 he got his wish when he was crushed by a grand piano.After years of rehabilitation & corrective surgery (none of his fingers are real), Grubby started to compose. The first effort was entitled “The Paper” (released under the name “Eccentricity”). This saw the establishment of a style which has since been recognised as “rubbish”.A prolific songwriter, Grubby wrote over 200 songs in a 6-minute period, experimenting with various styles of music (including skydash, hard-hat, gibberish, ping-pong, and gobble). 14 albums were released under the Eccentricity banner, with 5 more under other pseudonyms (including “Woof Schumacher”, and “Monk da Wally de Honk”). Every style of music was adopted and butchered.Grubby slept from 1994-2002. There followed a brief and deeply unsettling collaboration with the (future) Evolving Goodness. “ROBOT: dead” existed for a brief period, but didn’t dwell long enough on any tune foetus for it to develop into a viable tune baby.Now under his true ‘Grubby’ banner, the album “Analst” was released in 2005 to universal derision, despite containing the groundbreaking tunes “Bruize”, “4004” and “Tick Tock”.The “green” period… The ‘difficult’ 2nd Grubby album soon followed - “Sculptures In A Garden Of Stone” (2006), with Grubby narrowly avoiding being burnt at the stake. The album saw a return to an earlier, more melodic style, and included the tunes “Goofball”, “Farmboy”, and “Hunchback”. Throughout this period, Grubby lived in rooftops throughout medieval England, eating nothing but cobwebs and speaking only to bats.The “red” period… 2007 was a dark year. A chaotic period of mental illness, phantom limb-loss, & mineral water abuse saw an ever-increasing reliance on crossword puzzles and dog whispers. Against record label wishes, Grubby sank deeper into the experimental underground, searching for new soundscapes and the legendary “missing fingers”. After months without word, a Cornish fisherman discovered the elongated & massively swollen body of (what he thought) was a new species of stupid whale. However, once the many thousands of barnacles, leeches, and shark teeth were removed from the stinking flesh, and the thick, impossibly matted hair covering the upper portion of its “face” was removed, things became horribly clear. Grubby had returned. “For The Insects, As Well As For The Stars” was released in 2007, and contained the tunes “Snakes”, “Ideas”, “Spate”, “Practika and Tactika” and “Panspermia”.The beginning of the “Blue” period… In 2008, rumours abound of collaborations with Ear Nightmare, Forest of Licks, and Cheek. However when “Tenbagger” was released, no-one cared. Only a handful of ears escaped unharmed.Now that 2009 is here, Grubby grows weary. The body is shutting down - the ears are now just tiny flaps.

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