!!!DJ DALIN!!!

I have my own line of Chinese import shops:
I was abandoned as an infant, and left in a basket woven out of yacks hair in an old run-down Tavern in Spain. I was found by a troup of gypsies who I was raised by and taught numerous party tricks and ancient pick pocket skills. Once after performing an impromptu fire juggling routine for an Arabian princess I was "accidentally" locked in a Harem with 30 women where I was kept captive for 3 months as their personal love slave. Here I learned many invaluable skills which help me survive even today in the jungles of San Diego. It wasn't until my early 20's that I learned of my huge inheritance left to me by my Uncle Ozhan from Turkmanistan. Ever since then I have spent my days roaming the wilds of California looking for the perfect Woman to share my ridiculous fortune and adventures with....and I have managed to catch one, and I love her so much... it is completely awesome and retarded!! I don't know how else to describe it.
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