Thomas Middleditch

Check it! I'm really into hair gel and expensive designer shirts. I have a fast car and I make penisloads of money. Speaking of penis, I have six. These six penises swirl around when you take off my pants and hiss at you like cobras. I call them My Sweet Cobras. I'm getting off topic. I only like girls who have pictures of themselves kissing other girls or near-nude shots or them in front of a beer bong while a doucheburger fucknut pours roofie slag in the funnel. But really dudes...let's get real...

I'm a super weirdo and go to the cinematic moving pictures by myself. I'm busy doing a lot of shows of comedic nature, and when they're over I tend to get sad. Someone called me a sad clown once...then I told him to get bent, hammer kicked his neck-face faggot head, did a backflip, landed on my sk8bored, and slammed off pullin' wicked noseface indie 360 chummywungers off the rails and hoppy jumps.

background photo by Jung Kim of NYC @ www.jungkimphoto.com