Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
Experts in pain management.
AC/DC. Only the Bon Scott era though. That other guy sucks.
Fright Night, Begotten, Little Dieter Needs to Fly, Goyokin, Desperate Living, Alien, Demonlover, Jaws, The Piano Teacher, Flesh and Blood, Auntie Mame, RoboCop, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, The Shining, The Homecoming, Beau Travail, One Day in September, 2001, Rashomon, 8 1/2, American Psycho, Jamon Jamon, Danger Diabolik, Two Lane Blacktop, Secretary, Birth, Clash by Night, Young Frankenstein, 28 Days Later, Days of Heaven, Mean Streets, Mute Witness, The Beat That My Heart Skipped, Half Nelson, The Descent, Little Children and any Warren Oates movie
At this point, it's only good for spectacle. Preferably feats of strength. Strong man competitions, rodeos and arm wrestling championships. There should be sweating, spitting and bull snot flying everywhere. Much as in lovemaking.
I only read texts that occur naturally in our post postmodern environment i.e. license plates, knuckle tattoos, price tags, street signs, billboards, tables of ingredients, bumper stickers, horoscopes, graffiti and In Touch Weekly.
Are you serious?