the death of... Mike 13

As time goes on, age and the inevitable process of getting older settles in. It's a place I never thought I would see. Not so much in the sense that I wouldn't live to see it, but more so in the "there is no way I am going to grow up" sense. Having Dylan obviously has had some effect on this whole process. But still, even having him I was still teetering on that line for longer than I should have. Still reckless, self destructive, uncaring, and selfish was I. Is this what fate had in store for me? Does fate even exist? You never think of how your life will actually be, just what you want it to be. The fact is, there is absolutely no way to know what your life will become. This past year has been a real eye opener. I've put forth my best efforts and for once, rather than dismissing what another way of living life could be like, I've embraced it and have given it a go. I've had tremendous help and support which have really made all of this much, much easier. A wonderful and loving girlfriend supporting the ideas and helping when I would get stuck, a family who have been made proud, friends who have not only acknowledged these changes in me but who have accepted them and most importantly an adoring son who I've connected with better than I ever have who is reaping in the rewards of a daddy in a stable and all around better frame of mind. Sure I miss some of the things I did or had. But are those things as important in the grand scheme of things? Hell no. The real truth is that growing up, acting responsibly and a normal life don't have to equal boredom and the end of it all. Things are just getting good, why leave that all behind.