Starting in the measely, yet highly productive days of early 8th grade, friends Kris Kennon, Justin Larkin, and Justin's little brother Owen had a dream. It was to change the face of the known planet with their intense, ever-so-slightly overwhelming, and over-all amazing musical capabilities. Owen was the lead vocalist. A virtuous young man with a voice so heavenly, so astounding, that the best chorus of angels could not dare to match. With guitar in hand, and some wonderful back-up vocaling, was the ambiguous Justin. And alas, the former drummer, his heart lies with all of us and we have nothing more to say that a heart-felt bidding of farewell and a tombstone entitled, "Reverend Kris 'Karizzle' Kennon" which on it was an engraved R.I.P.
Kris, one of the most talented, even though often off-beat drummers known to mankind, was a brave soul. He was bet by Fonzy himself that he could not make a leap, or I should say jump, of faith over deadly waters of deadly sharks with his trusty 1950s lavender Harley Davidson. He could not turn such an offer down, so he put on his loyal Beastie Boys shirt, and wore his solid pink teeth with such a pride unbelievable, attempted the deadly feat.
You would have probably thought, since most of everyone are used to happy endings, that everything would turn out fine. Oh well not here they don't. Kris landed in an Aztecian river and was beheaded by the mouth of a hungry shark. Kris later found a permenant home in the fiery pits of Hell, where him and his solid pink teeth will always remain. God Bless.
The rest of the band, with heavy hearts, wrote one last song. This song would become ED-Funk's biggest known hit. It is entitled "The Ballad of Kris Kennon." Soon after there was a tragic emotional break-up. Although the exact date is still in the air, sometime there will be a greatest hits compilation entitled "Erectial Disfunktion: The Kris Years."
There have been a couple short-lasting replacement drummers, including Lars Ulrich, Bam-Bam, and some random guy that didn't really play the drums, in turn he just danced around on stage in his underwear drunk off his ass. All of the reunions have been a bitter failure. But, rumor has it that this summer Justin and Owen will perform a conjuration ritual to bring forth Kris from the underworld for one concert. This will be the one, true reunion.
This is the story of Erectial Disfunktion. R.I.P. Kris Kennon.I edited my profile at Freeweblayouts.net , check out these Myspace Layouts!
