The GreenBack Gorilla profile picture

The GreenBack Gorilla

I am here for Networking

About Me


I'm the top banana of Simian Sales and King Shit Poo Flinger. Bananas hang in bunches and they're ripe for the grabbing. I like to beat my chest and scratch my balls.
Do you want to make more moola while having more fun than a barrel of monkeys? Sure. Who doesn't?
For most businesses, your sales and/or profits can take a dive - virtually overnight - if a bigger, hairier gorilla settles into your market. It happens everyday… in every niche imaginable.
Any chimp knows there are “right” ways and there are “wrong” ways to approach an effective, profitable marketing plan. Follow my suggestions and you'll be a big fat gorilla like me!
1. Create Urgency/Fear In Your Headline – When writing an effective headline for any ad, it’s imperative you create urgency and/or fear.
Urgency:
- As part of this special 48 hour marketing test…
- For the next 10 subscribers only…
Fear:
- If you fail to read this report, you have a 90% chance of never being able to…..
- Statistics have now shown that children can also be seriously effected by…..
2. Provide at least two or more ways to hook the customer – You’ll increase your chances significantly if you provide two optin forms on your squeeze page. One form should always go in the top fold of the page (left or right) and another at the very bottom of the page as the last element of the page. Or just make a page of nothing but dotted lines for them to sign their name on and little check mark boxes that say YES! SEND ME THIS SPECTACULAR OFFER! EEEEK! EEEK!
3. Less Is More – Don’t confuse or over-complicate your sales pitch. Keep it short, sweet and to the point. Don't over explain how your money making scheme works. You'll only confuse your customer. Keep them in the dark and allow the element of mystery to lure in your fortune.
4. Look Professional – Where'd you get that logo? The internet?! Ha! You cheap slob. I've met better dressed orangutans. Go to Banana Republic and buy some decent pants.



Music Playlist at MixPod.com

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

A clever monkey like yourself who knows a good deal when you see one.

We are always looking for sales professionals with bad attitudes and no experience.

My Blog

Our Chief Communication Operations

Our corporation has a very complex network of information systems.If YOU can jump on a typewriter, we want to talk to you today about an exciting lucrative opportunity involving dead African millionai...
Posted by on Mon, 07 Jan 2008 09:16:00 GMT

Hot Primal Pizza Delivery

I own many quality adult monkey video production companies.Such as "Hot Monkey Action" and "Spank Monkey" and "Primal Swinger".
Posted by on Sat, 25 Aug 2007 08:40:00 GMT