I am one of the frustrated crowd who finds herself cursing the church with one breath and then realizing that I AM the church with the next. And so I am on a mission to love the church- but I plan on loving her enough to tell her the Truth. I plan on loving her enough to point out the areas that everyone else avoids, to bring up the hard, unwanted and uncomfortable subjects. I am tired of the Church trying to defend God (who doesn't need defending) and not defending those around them who TRULY need it, like the "poor, widowed, orphaned".. the hurting, the lonely... those who are stuck in a void of pretend living, who know there is more than this monotonous "survival" but who can never seem to find a way out of it. I am tired of Christianity being defined by a list of what one "doesn't do" and by what we "boycot" or the Denomination that one belongs to instead of a relationship with Christ. The one relationship that has caused people to live some of the most selfless and seemingly impossible lives throughout history.
I can tell you right now I am not the Christian who always says or does the right thing initially, and usually not even the first 45 times... but I am on a mission to find that "narrow" road... the only road that leads to truth, even if I acquire several scratches and bumps along the way. I'd rather be torn up and struggling (and really LIVING in the process) then live a life of ease and ignorance, only to discover at the end that I'd forsaken Christ and others along the way.
I plan on writing songs that do more than generically repeat phrases about God that no one really means or thinks about. I want to write songs that make you think, truly think about whether the decision to "follow Christ" is a decision you really want to make. I want to write songs that point out the flaws in the Church, not to shame her but to make her face that which she runs from. Sometimes I can and will be overzealous and judgemental but my one hope in all of this is that God will help me to never run over the Church in my passion for the "ideals" I think I have.
I have a lot to say and I don't know that God will ever give me a platform to say it- so I'm trying to put most of it in song form and then putting the rest in His hands. If it is never heard, that is ok because I am not out to defend God, I am out to find and share TRUTH. And the Truth will always come out whether I am there to help it or not.
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