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I am here for Friends

About Me

I enjoy playing jokes on people. I read a lot. I replace the toilet paper roll immediately after it runs out. I have been to many countries. I snore. I am often embarrassed by other Americans. I like telling stories. I play lots of games. I love to eat. I do not recycle small batteries. I usually pay full price. I enjoy hiking. I hate talking on the phone. I only shave my face once a week. I'm usually late. I very rarely get headaches. I don't smoke or drink. I can whistle. I write very neatly. I do not believe in destiny. I bite my fingernails. I love going to the movies. I like my Mac way better than my PC. I hate the sound of an alarm clock going off. I despise religion.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Yoda

My Blog

Jesus Bomb : "Chill Climbing"

Hi.My name is Derek Lloyd.Many of you might not be aware of this, but I have been secretly planning to take over the entire music industry with a fresh new song titled, "Chill Climbing."It's available...
Posted by on Sun, 27 Jul 2008 00:19:00 GMT

Treadmill Disasters

We've all seen our fair share of treadmill disasters but this particular one that I link to in this article is, I think, my all-time favorite.Conan O'Brien was once asked what did he personally find f...
Posted by on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:27:00 GMT

Great Moments In Film: "You are not a Jedi yet."

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACKScene: Luke confronts Vader for the first time in the carbon freezing chamber. This is it. This is one of the greatest moments in film history. You are free to disagree, but you...
Posted by on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:48:00 GMT

Funny People

There are some seriously funny people walking around out there. Even Russia, a place that doesn't exactly leap to mind when you are trying to think of places where funny people might dwell, is indeed ...
Posted by on Tue, 20 May 2008 00:27:00 GMT

Thanks Be To Arrogance

So, I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas. I was there from Sunday through Thursday and on our last day, Lisa and I went to Lake Las Vegas. It's a beautiful place surrounded by expensive condos, ho...
Posted by on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Evangelical Bullshit

This is going on right now in a midwestern State in your country:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xKDKq_PPbkWe should send Rambo in to save these kids from their mentally handicapped parents and their ...
Posted by on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:17:00 GMT

The Escalation of Wood

It began with a twig. Small, pliable, and light. Thrown delicately, so that it mildly flickered onto the back of Mike Murphy's powder blue shirt. It was only meant to be an annoyance. An irritant that...
Posted by on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 23:20:00 GMT

Believe in Jesus, Motherfucker!

 This is my all-time-favorite, Christian fundamentalist quote. I culled it from a website called www.fstdt.com (which stands for "Fundies Say The Darndest Things"). Whenever you're having a bad d...
Posted by on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 09:18:00 GMT

The Tao of Peanut Butter & Jelly

There is a perfect mixture in this universe and those who seek it are on the path. This concoction is pure and more meaningful than any other pursuit you may quest for on your life journey. I am refer...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 14:01:00 GMT