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I am understandably a little intimidated by your physique.
People feel an odd compulsion around me to physically dramatize, with me as the subject, anecdotes in which they were made to feel uncomfortable.
I am a little afraid of birds and fish.
After five minutes of experimentation I discovered that the following combinations of words produce 300 or more results in a Google search.
Disingenuous clambake.
Werewolf butt calamity.
Post-modern cauliflower shaman.
Smelly lemon pustule.
Breaded skin shavings.
Bareback mustard-tousle
AIRPLANE:
i found a piece of paper, a post-it note, on the ground with the word "AIRPLANE" written on it in tiny, careful letters, and below that a drawing of an airplane. dozens of tiny passengers smiled in its windows, all of them looking out, as if at another plane bound for a like destination. their smiles were big Us. they looked happy to be in the air, going wherever they were going. the artist had described the gleam on the jet engine with a couple of tiny rhombii in its corner, like ditto marks, and horizontal candleflame at the nozzle propelled the whole complicated apparatus. a series of sketchy lines created an impression of forward movement. the pilot was black, or maybe asian or mexican, or just deeply tanned - you couldn't tell, but his face was shaded in. he might have been a short-haired korean woman. below the airplane, an inch meant to convey thousands of feet of space, was a house, labeled "HOUSE," with no windows, and no door, and a tree growing from the roof, and a baby in the tree. the words TREE and BABY hovered nearby like hummingbirds. the tree almost touched the plane. I thought, what was this artist trying to say?