1706619 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

The problem with getting to know me is that I tell the same stories a thousand times. Each time refining the details until its a perfect anecdote. So I'll use this opportunity to get a lot of those stories out of the way. That way if we ever have a conversation, I'll actually ask questions about you instead of telling stories about myself.
Random Facts About Evo:
- From age 3-5 my babysitter was Tiffany the one-hit wonder from the 80's who sang "I think we're alone now." Thirteen years later I had a subscription to Playboy when she posed in it.
- I went to college in San Luis Obispo where I studied Electrical Engineering. You may notice that I am not currently an electrical engineer, you can go ahead and connect the dots on that one.
- After I dropped out of college I had to work at Sears to pay off my debts. I'm an irreponsible douche so I missed a lot of work. They were going to fire me, so I told them my mom died. They sent flowers to my dad, I kept the lie up for 6 months. I never told them I was lying, even when I left and there was no reason for me not to tell them. I'm a liar, I could be lying to you right now.
- I've worked a lot of strange jobs. Auto-mechanic, copier salesman, toy demonstrator, I delivered phone books for a while, and of course I was a roadie for Agent Orange, The Misfits, and King of the Surf Guitar Dick Dale. In the past I have blogged about my experiences at these various jobs, you can read them if you like:
"I don't want to get herpes...again!"
I sell crap for a living. I am a poopsmith.
Evo's Roadtrip '05: The Challenge
Neon Plastic Palm Trees (In Utah-ro)
Why is his name Spuds McKenzie when he has nothing to do with potatoes?
Pre-Historic Monster that thinks its bigger than it is...oh and a miniature dinosaur too!
I just want to apologize to all the dead babies.
So that's pretty much everything you would ever need to know about me. I don't even see a reason why you'd ever need to meet me now. Below are some random other blogs and stuff I've posted before:
- I scattered my pubic hair in bars accross the nation and took pictures documenting the feat.
PUBES ACROSS AMERICA!
- I was on an episode of MTV's Next that went horribly awry and I have recently found out will never see the light of day. Here's the story:
Next: Human Puppetry and other Secrets of Hollywood
- Super powers are more feasible than you think. Get the scoop:
A German Baby Could Kick My Ass!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Everybody. I love people, I usually find something good and interesting in everybody. I'll especially like to meet or talk to you if you have a good sense of irreverence and humor. However, I don't really need to meet any girls at this point, I have an awesome girlfriend named Stacie and she is awesomer than all other girls and boys too.

My Blog

What's Scarier: Geography Edition

Let's Play "What's Scarier: International Edition" Take a look at each of the two photos below and submit your vote in the comments! 1. Texas Skinheads Or Hollywood Skinheads 2. Liberian Drag ...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 13:23:00 GMT

Gross Ad Report .2

This was on a login page for Yahoo's e-mail service. WTF is this dude doing? Is he seriously doing the racist dated rap pose that I used to do as an 8 year old when I attempted to impersonate MC Ham...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 14:30:00 GMT

Gross Ad Report .1

I saw the above ad on my Myspace home page. If you click on it and take a close look you will notice that the meat being used to attempt to scam you into some survey hoopla in return for a McDonald's ...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 13:56:00 GMT

The Velocity of Evan

Lately, the speed with which time passes has dominated my thoughts. How long have I been here? I've been doing this whole existing thing for 23 years and change, maybe its j...
Posted by on Sun, 21 May 2006 12:35:00 GMT

In Bad Taste

So I totally haven't posted anything in a while because I have been busy with a project that I'm pretty excited about. Over the last couple of months members of my Improv team Panties Inna Bunch...
Posted by on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 10:15:00 GMT

Great Works of Unintentional Comedy: Part 1

Exploring The Homosexual Myth As many of you know I always enjoy a good laugh. I like funny things. I am especially found of things that are suppossed to be serious, and are instead hilari...
Posted by on Mon, 21 Nov 2005 11:23:00 GMT

I was wrong.

Ok....so I just spent 3 hours writing a very long a detailed blog about a discussion I had with my roommate and how it relates to my "belief system." However, the world has decided to edit me.&n...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Nov 2005 15:40:00 GMT

A German Baby Could Kick my Ass.

One night in the middle of summer when I was 11 years-old I went for a walk after a family dinner and wandered into a comic-book store. For some reason the owner of the store decided to give me ...
Posted by on Wed, 26 Oct 2005 13:25:00 GMT

Next: Human Puppetry and other Secrets of Hollywood

For those of you who don't know, yesterday Tuesday October 11th, I filmed an episode of MTV's horrid dating show Next. The audition was more than three months ago, but I just...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Oct 2005 10:36:00 GMT

Mixed Bag

Check out this awesome article about the underground comedy scene in LA. This article is the kind of thing that makes me really happy to be here. I plan on eventually seeing as many of the...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Sep 2005 11:41:00 GMT