Here's what I know: I am a "jack of all trades, master of none" type who is very adept at drawing, painting, writing fiction, and singing, but so far not good enough at any of them to be famous for any of them (although I have been paid for the drawing and the writing). I'm extremely analytical, with a great love for puzzles of logic and reasoning (though I despise Sudoku with all my heart for its one-dimensionality and its role in dumbing down America). I'm very resistant to change, but then equally gung-ho for any change whose waters I've tested and found to my liking. I'm extremely laid back, calm, and unflappable. I am naive and too trusting for my own good...but wouldn't want it any other way. I suffer from Linusitis (love mankind, can't stand people - although, don't get me wrong, I'm not a curmudgeon, I probably just need to live in a less populous place). I love to laugh, and to make others laugh even more. And I am finally breaking the mold of defeatist thinking, of automatically assuming "I can never be successful at X," and moving beyond the comfort zone of the tried and proven, since so far it has proven to be neither challenging nor fulfilling. I am single, open to anything from hookups to dating to marriage (eventually), but I find I am increasingly LTR-minded lately. Not looking, but when someone does come along, I am much more circumspect, keeping the Long Term/Big Picture in the back of my mind. Not that I'm evaluating potential partners on the basis of what they can do for me, but definitely no longer throwing myself into relationship archetypes that have failed before (particularly the father-son ones). I don't expect perfection, just honesty and accessibility. Ultimately, I need to be in a relationship with someone who helps me build on the parts of me that are already good, noble, and desirable, who can be patient with my faults and weaknesses, and who wants to grow together without molding us into identical twins...and to give exactly that and to be exactly that for him in kind.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Rankin C. Rialnumba
Birthday: No thanks, had enough already!
Birthplace: My mother's vagina
Current Location: In my chair
Eye Color: bloodshot
Hair Color: Like a circus wheel, it changes all the time....
Height: n. 1. extent or distance upward. 2. distance upward from a given level to a fixed point. 3. stature: "She is five feet in height".
Right Handed or Left Handed: More like backhanded if you don't stop asking so many personal questions!
Your Heritage: Dictionary is open to the page with "height" (see above)
The Shoes You Wore Today: will be On The Foot Up Your Ass tomorrow.
Your Weakness: Kryptonite. Hairy, muscular, literate, funny, green-eyed kryptonite.
Your Fears: That I'll wake up and find out my whole life was just an episode of Dallas.
Your Perfect Pizza: If they could just get that tower to stop leaning.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Buying a calendar
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "No, no, no, no, no, the difference between the number of vertices and the number of sides of a regular Euclidean solid is TWO, not four."
Thoughts First Waking Up: Somebody needs to buy a preposition (hint: try "upon")
Your Best Physical Feature: Isthmus
Your Bedtime: Anywhere from twenty minutes to two hours, depends on the other guy's stamina
Your Most Missed Memory: Wait now, wait...it's on the tip of my tongue...hold on....nope, missed it again.
Pepsi or Coke: Do I get the mirror and razor blade too? No? Then, Pepsi.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Hmm, chicken heads or rat parts; so many choices, so little desire....
Single or Group Dates: Prefer grapes, actually.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Do I look like I give a damn?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Neopolitan!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Don't smoke.
Do you Smoke: Only during sex.
Do you Swear: By what?
Do you Sing: the Body Electric? Yup, sure do!
Do you Shower Daily: Once a month, whether I need to or not.
Have you Been in Love: With that one, special guy? Sure, lotsa times!
Do you want to go to College: Been there, done that, got the student loans.
Do you want to get Married: To a man? Sure, just don't tell my wife!
Do you belive in yourself: I'm an existentialist, get real!
Do you get Motion Sickness: I prefer to think of it as "Immobility Wellness".
Do you think you are Attractive: Nine out of ten fag hags can't be wrong!
Are you a Health Freak: Why, did somebody turn the switch to "11"?
Do you get along with your Parents: Get a long what?
Do you like Thunderstorms: Thunder only happens when it's rainin'
Do you play an Instrument: Does tulips on an organ count?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: It's "have you DRUNK alcohol," you fucking moron! Learn to conjugate a fucking verb, for christ's sake.
In the past month have you Smoked: No, but I once made fire by rubbing two Boyscouts together....
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Define "Drugs".
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No, but my dog has gone on the rug, does that count?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: and the Night Shoppers?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Good lord, no, I take 'em out of the box first!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: If you knew sushi like I know sushi...erm, that's be a "no".
In the past month have you been on Stage: Vicodin, Oxycontin, and Xanex, yes. What's this "Stage"stuff?
In the past month have you been Dumped: I've taken a few, does that count?
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Nope, too fat.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Just a few hearts....
Ever been Drunk: I'm a solid, not a liquid, you asshole! (see "have you Drank (sic)" above)
Ever been called a Tease: Wouldn't you like to know?
Ever been Beaten up: Didja ever wonder why they call it "beaten UP"? Don't you usually wind up on the GROUND when you get beaten up?
Ever Shoplifted: A WHOLE SHOP?! Are you crazy? I can barely deadlift six plates!
How do you want to Die: Who says I'm going to die?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Who says I'm going to grow up?
What country would you most like to Visit: One where they Don't Capitalise the verbs needlessly....
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!Your results:
You are Superman
Superman
100%
Robin
65%
Batman
60%
Spider-Man
60%
The Flash
60%
Iron Man
55%
Catwoman
50%
Supergirl
50%
Hulk
50%
Wonder Woman
45%
Green Lantern
40%
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
