You Might Be In Law School If...
You consider dropping out of law school approximately every hour, but after that first semester you realized you were already in too much debt to be anything other than a lawyer.
You aspire to one day own Blackacre.
The drama in your life now rivals that of high school.
You make adverse possession jokes.
You can name without hesitation at least three people who make you want to throw things when you see them raise their hands in class.
You think IRAC and CREAC are just code for saying the same thing over and over.
You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of some of your classmates becoming attorneys.
You think tequila shots are essential to ordered liberty.
You wonder if that one professor who always seems angry and irritable and treats students’ minds as his personal playground is actually a sociopath or just didn’t get enough hugs as a child.
Sometimes during disagreements you are tempted to 12(b)(6) the offending friend or family member.
You can’t remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself.
You think whoever came up with the Socratic method should have his face lit on fire and then beaten out with a rake.
When someone is expressing their frustration or anger about something that is in any way related to the law, you can’t be sympathetic because you’re too busy figuring out in your head if they have a cause of action.
You have considered changing career paths to hot dog vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic.
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