prof. Joe PHD profile picture

prof. Joe PHD

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

i bet you think your pretty great dont you? ill tell you now, i am better*....well, where to start?....my name is joe, spelt with an 'e', always has been, always will be....what do i like?....well, hmm, i like chimney pots shaped like exotic fruits, sunshine, trees, various herbs and spices, salad cream, tasteful nudity, repeating patterns, bright colours, dull colours, things that spin, special k, old newspapers, most things wireless, spyware, small harmless animals, large harmful dead animals, hyphonated-words, good grammar, tarmac, denim, lined paper, sports utility vehicles, lip balm, advanced astro-physics and sex (when apropriate)....what don't i like?....i don't like people called chenade, channelle, candel, chazade, candeese or george, i don't like unsightly chimney pots, rain, the grammies, feminism, super smash bros, regular k, stupidity, emos, attention seekers, celibasy, astma, clowns and various other herbs and spices....what do i do?....well wouldnt you love to know....by day i work as the health and safety inspector for the botswana meat commission, and by night i am a serial rapist, unfortunately, people often frown upon this, but its a life style choice, just like christianity, journalism or homophobia....what makes me laugh?....well, what would really make me laugh is a video of a mates girl friend with her fist stuffed up her vagina, but its bit of a long shot, so ill have to settle for the prospect of world peace.....and of course, i am obliged to give a shout out to my dearest chums....lewis, harry, jamie, guy, amad, idris, ben (haha), tom and the rest who are of course not quite good enough to be included on the list. no offence. if you would like the prestigious honour of being on the list, please feel free to beg me......because i (dont) love you all.*joe infact, may not be better than you....DISCLAIMER: this article may cause offence to christians, jews, muslims, hindus, sikhs, catholics, buddhists, scientologists, johovas whitnesses and any other people without the sufficient brain capacity to realise that they are fucking stupid!

My Interests

retail of cloth and linen, the youth of yugaslavia, reasonably priced biros, overpriced biros, sexual corrosive activity, loud noises, jet engines, tension rods, the collection of finely crafted cutlery, tescelating shapes, exam invigelators, squid, law and law enforcement, anal police, stamp collecting, gynecology and sturgen.

I'd like to meet:

katie price, mohammed al fayed, joseph stalin, mahatma gandhi, martin luther king, r. kelly, nelson mandela, sir. trevor macdonald (the founded of macdonalds), ynwie malmsteen, rabi tyrone, jack the ripper, linder mccartney, yoko, the cookie monster, fred durst (preferably dead fred durst), peter pan, angus daeyton, michael parkinson, jonafun woss, kylies right boob, gordon 'the bad ass' brown, john 'mother fucking' prescott and a good retailer of fine leathers with a fuck load of spunk.

Music:

i dont listen to much music, but when i do it tends to be along the lines of: acdc, metallica, hayseed dixie, black sabbath, eminem, leftfield, marilyn manson, xzibit, pendulum, prodigy, enigma, thin lizzy, motorhead, aerosmith, bee gees, rihanna, j-lo, r. kelly, charmillionaire, dr. dre, slipknot, soulfy, trivium, tool, papa roach, cradle of filth, snoop dogg, genesis, marvin gay, yngwie malmsteen, john petrucci, nas, akon, jay-z, disturbed, joe satriani, steve vai, frank zappa, stevie wonder, outkast, gorillaz, pantera, pink floyd, paul gilbert, 50 cent, coolio, chuck berry, breaking point, ozzy osbourne, afroman, bathory, beethoven, jerry c, cream, cypress hill, damien marley, mozart, bach, deep purple, dragonforce, megadeath drowning pool, eric clapton, jimi hendrix, john5, judas priest, kanye west, kasabian, kid rock, robbie williams, korn, led zeppelin, limp bizkit, linkin park, misty's big adventure, mudvayne, nick cave, nickelback, nirvana, nine inch nails, tim skold, punjabi mc, queen, mc hammer, sisqo, raging speedhorn, richard cheese, saliva, rob zombie, slade, slayer, stevie ray vaughn, pearl jam, steeley dan, sum41, tenacious d, rage against the machine, my chemical romance, system of a down, the crimea, the kooks, afi, the union underground, the white stripes, rolling stones, the who, U2, 2pac, van halen, vanilla ice, ice cube, ventures, usher, snow patrol, yes, zakk wylde, amen, hed, all that remains, lamb of god, evile, job for a cowboy, overkill, a perfect circle, musical youth, krusher, apartment 2b, james blunt, killswitch engage, towpath, opm, opeth, our lady peace, paganini, queens of the stoneage, queensryche, ramstein, rodrigo y gabriela, apocalyptica, ry cooder, sevendust, soulja boy, sublime, ten benson, the beatles, the black crowes, the the, vanessa mae, weezer, wolfmother, anthrax, avenged sevenfold, alice in chains, all that remains, paradigm shift (ahahaha), can, children of bodom, dmx, dope, exodus, suicidal tendencies, diamond head, machine head, the misfits, mercyful fate, blue oyster cult, corrosion of conformity, faith no more, lynyrd skynyrd, primus, MD45, goon moon, 2wo, sulpher, kingpin, shotgun messiah, iron horse, artic monkeys, rust in peace, audioslave, arch enemy, him, james brown, perry como and rolf harris. and maybe a few others.

Movies:

airplane, naked gun I, naked gun II, naked gun III, spyhard, withnail and i, fear and loathing, happy gilmore, kung pow, simpsons movie, southpark movie, 8 mile, trainspotting, human traffic, 51st state, pink floyd - the wall, johny got his gun, saving private ryan, green mile, spinal tap, guest house paradiso, and many many more.

Television:

simpsons, family guy, american dad, friends, scrubs, news, big train, it crowd, peep show, that mitchell and webb look, little britain, fawlty towers, father ted, red dwarf, and anything remotely related to anything remotely related to anything remotely related to anything remotely related to anything remotely related to anything remotely interesting or funny. except for hollyoaks.

Books:

weather men that time forgot, abnormally shaped fruits and vegetables, how clean is my house?, outrageous gardening accidents of the 1970's and the 2pac biography.

Heroes:

superman, batman, spiderman, robin, austin powers, samuel l jackson, superwoman, superboy, superdog, superpog, cat woman, pigeon rat, pig sheep, etc.

My Blog

mine....

goes inside me when i stand up.
Posted by prof. Joe PHD on Tue, 27 Nov 2007 01:33:00 PST

My First Blog

OMFG! Blog rhymes with Bog!
Posted by prof. Joe PHD on Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:31:00 PST