Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Kitler once swallowed a turtle whole, and when she crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Kitler is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
Contrary to popular belief, KITLER, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
If you ask Kitler what time it is, she always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" she roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Kitler drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Kitler can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Kitler allows to live.
What was going through the minds of all of Kitlers victims before they died? His shoe.
Police label anyone attacking Kitler as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Kitler once shot down a German fighter plane with her finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Kitler has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
3
