After trails for Manchester UTD. he was asked to sing at President Nixons innaugeration after a sell out season at the Ceasers palace in Las Vegas. Elvis was quoted as saying '' Pub, you make my voice sound like a fart in a bottle''.
The Seventies belonged to Pub. After forming Led Zeppelin he went his seperate ways to invade the Isle of Wight in an attempt to turn it into a repuplic and was only let off due to his close ties to the queen.And Queen. Freddy Mercury was said to have copied his flambouant stage style from''The Pub''.
After inventing the space hopper,Punk rock (using some string and an empty biro) and pineapple flavoured cigars he was invited to Uganda to be the prince regent to Idi Amin, The ''King of Scotland'' and was awarded the Nobel peace prize. He then went on to be the fastest downhill skiier in the whole of Holland and sung in many famous Dutch pubs such as the''Hertz Van Rental''.
Ashamed with his name ''Thatcher'' after his mother graduated to the status of evil tyrant he sought out his father and took the surname ''Cushing''.
After a whirlwhind affair and marriage to Whoopie Goldberg, things turned a bit sour for ''Pub'' ''We'd still be together today if it wasn't for the surname, Whoopie Thatcher would have been much better than Whoopie Cushing.........and the call girls, guns, drugs and sickening violence didn't help''.
Whoopie got her break and moved to Hollywood and has never been seen since, while Pub has gone from strength to strength, by now having a cult following in Barnoldwicktondaleside in North Yorkshire where he would sing at benefit gigs during the miners strike for the families of the overworked policemen who we're away from their families doing loads of overtime kicking miners heads in. Realizing that he had ''Sold out'' and called home to help out during ''the great treacle drought'' of ''83''in a price war scandal involving the makers of ''lemon curd'' The ''curd War'' as it became known was badly missinterpreted by Iraq's Saddam Hussain. In answer to this he started an anarchist punk band called ''Chimpywompa'' later to have a hit with ''Pubthumper''.
Losing everything in a court copyright battle with the duo Right said Fred, Pubs own trio ''Right said frank'' were forced into bancruptcy after their single''I'm to sexy for my tasche' was withdrawn but went on to sell 7,000000 in Uzbekistan making him a houshold name. It is still the national anthem to this day! In thanks to his contributions to culture and heritage, the Uzbeki's designed their parliament in the style of an English pub and call it ''Ye Olde Pube''.
After discovering the town of Bolton buring an expidition to the south pole he invented Peter and Vernon Kaye whilst trying to develop a fat based frostbite cream,desperately trying not to lose any more of his twelve fingers. (Twelve fingers or toes are comon in West Yorkshire)..
Changing his name once more after Peter Cushing was proven to contain no DNA therefore not the natural father, Pub became Pub Castle taking the name from his favourite venue''The Castle'' in Barnsleywestchapleholmtonbury, famous for its deep fried power tool range. .
After a short spell in the porn industry, where he adopted the name ''Pub Singer'' (after the sewing machines renound for doing really fast pricks'' he bacame the new face of amstrad where he invented techno..
He is shortly to marry his childhood sweetheart ''Beyonce Knowles'' who is quoted as saying ''I can't wait to be Beyonce Castle''.
(more to follow)King of the road is kindly donated by the King of the Dorset Crooners ''MC NJW''
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