Here is a little of my personal life. It sucks in many ways to be me, yet it also is great in alot of ways. I live underground- sucks, I rule down here- rocks, Alot of my friends are dead- sucks, All my dead friends are in hell- rocks, I rarely get to see daylight because people are terrafied of me- sucks, People are terrefied of me- Rocks, also, I have a very fast internet connection down here. I get whatever I want. Because if I dont, then I will destroy you.
Now, I am getting sick of all these rumors that the religions up on the surface are spreading. Who the hell said you cant have ice in hell? Just because im millions of years old you think that I dont know how to work a freezer? Also, why do you all critisize me down here, blaming me for your mistakes, saying that "The devil whispered in my ear" and stuff like that? Quite blaming your fucking mistakes on me! God is an asshole. Dont you get it yet? You know those stuck up rich people who have thier own clubs and wont let anyone in the middle class join? Yeah, thats how god is. You all are going to be here because god is a vengeful dick. So face it, and make friends with me while you can. I might just let you sit next to me on my throne if you give me a chance.
Now heres another thing. Hells environment. It is not scortching hot, but the temperature is constantly in-synch with that of Alabamas. And its not dark with flames shooting everywhere. My very own construction team has set an atmospheric scene for comfort. The cieling of hell, which is a good thousand miles above our heads, is painted blue and has implants inside certain spots that let out large amounts of steam to make an illusion like a cloud. Hell has more land than the surface of earth does. How is that your thinking right? Well the surface of earth is covered around what 80% with oceans? Well we dont have any oceans, all we have is freshwater lakes. Trust me. When you die, you wont even realize your dead until you ask someone in all your confusion where you are. Annnnnnnd one more thing. Down here you do not decapatate and look all ugly and shit as long as you come to my palace and swear to me that you will serve me if I ever need you to, because after you do that, I grant the whole people filled palace immortality and health without ever aging. So die young if you want to have eternal youth. But remember, if you ever fuck up, i can take all that back and make your skin peel off your flesh and make your bones rot from the inside out.
If you have any questions feel free to ask.
