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About Me

I start every single morning with a breakfast of iron. I eat nails and shit razors. Then I go to my computer and delete every single piece of fanmail I have recieved within the night without even bothering to read them. The amount of daily fanmail is measured in googolplexes. That is because I am a high-profile rock star and people would kill to be allowed the grace of sucking my tits. About 90% of the European population have my name tattooed somewhere on their skin.
I currently work as the general manager of a multi-national investment firm that deals mainly with funding research for neutron and fusion bombs et cetera. I have my own private jet and I use 100 euro bills as my toilet paper. Once I smoked a blunt wrapped in the original copy of Shakespear's MacBeth.
In my spare time I am the justice given form. I put on a skin-tight moth costume and become Mothman, the dark crusader. I don't have many superpowers, but I have the Mothmobile - modified Talbot Horizon from the year 1984, a classic - and a young male sidekick who likes to dress in pantyhose and call me "sweetheart". My archnemesis is called "The Poker" and his evil plots mostly center around cheating in online card games.
I have many talents. I possess a superior analytic intelligence and my knowledge about everything and all is beyond anything ever known to mankind before me. Compared to me, Machiavelli was a minor player, merely a pawn. He was dynamite but I am a tactical nuke. In fact I know the meaning of life.
I can also write great poetry. Wanna see?
"Peach, you fucking rule, Peach, you fucking rock. Peach get down on me 'n polish my knob."
I have to be completely honest with you... I have enormous balls. You have possibly seen horses pack quite a bit in the genital section, so you might have some kind of a picture in your mind about my seed-sags. My balls have their own gravitational field. 9/11 wasn't actually a terrorist attack; It was me teabagging the WTC towers.
My father is Thor, the God of Thunder, and my mother is the Hive Queen from Aliens. That mentioned you might already know why I don't dig bullshit CSS-mods on MySpace.
Because you want to know more about me you can read my biography. It's called "Beowulf".

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I made a short list of people who I wanted to meet, but the only name on that list was myself, so I decided to masturbate in front of a mirror basking myself in my own glory.

Also Hanna Pakarinen would be nice.

My Blog

Itsari (Part XXVIII)

I have caught the Hades-virus.
Posted by on Tue, 29 May 2007 01:07:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XXVII)

I want to do anything I can to get my life even remotely bearable.Alas, my life is in the hands of someone else.This is a sorrowful situation, so I have to comfort myself with a warm bath. A warm bath...
Posted by on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 14:23:00 GMT

Itsari (XXVII)

Yesterday was good. In fact it was perfect. Today was good also, but then I woke up.Now I am consuming some cyanide pills for breakfast.
Posted by on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 20:09:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XXVI)

I am a disgrace for the biological life, so I must remove myself from the genepool with few well placed rounds from my trusty ol' revolver. I am glad that I am going to Russia soon, so I can play...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 17:56:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XXV)

Tomorrow is the Valentine's Day, but everyone I love is dead, so it is depressing me and I am contemplating of introducing the pieces of my skull to our floor. Of course to make the thing more funny, ...
Posted by on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 21:59:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XXIV)

Pointti on, että meitsi deitsi on aivan uskomaton idealisti ynnä romantikko, että siinä ohessa nihilistifatalistischoppenhaueristi, että ei kai siinä.
Posted by on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 16:58:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XXIII)

It's -30 degrees of celcius combined with the freezing wind from the sea. Unless someone soon gives me some reasons to live, I shall take a long, warm bath with my wrists cut wide open.
Posted by on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 07:49:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XXII)

I am feeling light-hearted, but not because I am relieved, but because I just suffered a heart-attack.
Posted by on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 16:03:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XXI)

I am going to tell you exactly what I am thinking of:Devil-worship, worshipping ritual, Shub-Niggurath, testicle, ritual self-molestation, blasphemy, occult dark spell of darkness, summoning demons, t...
Posted by on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 23:55:00 GMT

Itsari (Part XX)

Only things that remain are memories and the pain.PS. Time for me to die, because for me Heaven has always been a lie.
Posted by on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 13:33:00 GMT