I'm the greatest Greek tragedian. I've written ninety-five plays. I did all of this while revolutionizing the formal structure of Attic tragedy (Suck it Aristophanes). I'm a big fan of deus ex machina. Aristotle criticised me for the preceding fondness but, my works are timeless, and Aristotle was kind of a douche.
If you're having a good day that you want to ruin, read the Bacchae:
"Death makes judgement sound, hears no
excuses. When you face the gods, remember
your mortality, if you'd live a painless life.
Wisdom you may have;
I'd rather hunt for other virtures"
